Nancy Pelosi Is Stepping Down, But Not Really Going Anywhere

Ding dong the witch is gone…kind of.

In a speech on Thursday, Nancy Pelosi announced that after almost 20 years, she will not seek reelection as leader of the House Democratic Conference. She stated, “For me, the hour has come for a new generation to lead the Democratic Congress that I so deeply respect.” Even though she is stepping down from a leadership role, she is still sticking around through her term. So we kind of get rid of her, like we don’t have to deal with her as Speaker and we won’t have to see her face as much any more, but she’s still there. Corrupt and making horrible decisions.

During her speech she referred to herself as a “devout Catholic” and a “patriotic American.” I’m sorry, but you cannot be a devout Catholic and believe that abortion is okay. You also cannot be a patriotic American and do so much to destroy our country.

After her announcement several people took to social media to express how they felt about Nancy. The fawning over her from the left was just exhausting. The fact that these people actually think she was good at her job and not the corrupt woman she was that spent 35 years getting drunk, insider trading, and getting rich off of our money is absolutely insane. But they truly think she was the greatest speaker we have ever had. I don’t get it.

But also, everyone is acting like she is gone for good. But she’s still going to be a member of the House, at least through her term. She just won’t be in a leadership role. I thought for sure she was going to step down entirely, which would have been better. I’m not mad she’s stepping down from a leadership role, but I would have liked to see her go completely. Ya know?

But you know what? Throughout her almost 20 years in a leadership role, and as the Speaker of the House, she did have some highlights. So, in honor of her, let’s take a stroll down memory lane. Like this stunning and brave moment:

and this incredibly weird moment that no one can explain:

or my personal favorite Nancy moment, a true classic that I still quote on any random occasion to this day:

Nancy, I can’t say that I’ll miss your drunken slurs, the way you adjust your dentures in the middle of speaking, or your creepy alien hands. But I am thrilled that you will no longer have any form of leadership role in the House, and will hopefully soon be out of Congress for good. You won’t be missed.