Dems Won’t Fund The Wall… But They WILL Throw Money At GENITAL WASHING

The Democrats are keeping our government closed because they won’t fund an IMMOOOOORAL wall.

Here are things they have no problem funding!

Get READY, folks. These are un-freaking-believable.

THREAD:

Dems are refusing to fund the border wall, so I thought I’d create a list of all the insane things government DOES FUND.

‣ $3,000,000 for World of Warcraft: tax $ funded UC Irvine researchers’ screen time
‣ $800,000 on studying significance of genital-washing pic.twitter.com/DDhrQpcw3z

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

GENITAL WASHING.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL CRAP?!

‣ $2,500,000 on a Super Bowl commercial that was so terribly produced that it was banned after it aired
‣ $1,000,000 on Zoo Poetry: “increasing environmental awareness” by creating poetry in four different zoos
‣ $175,000,000 on buildings that have been vacant for years

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

‣ $765,828 on pancakes: tax dollars subsidized an IHOP in an “under-served” area of DC
‣ $442,340 studying behavior of male prostitutes in Vietnam
‣ $168,766 studying monkeys who throw their poop
‣ $914,000 studying romance novels: topics included “Team Edward or Jacob?”

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

THEY SUBSIDIZED AN IHOP ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!

Actually… all of those make me ill. Team GTFO.

‣ $5,000,000 studying the drinking habits of college students on game days
‣ $5,000,000 on hipster parties with the goal of ending smoking
‣ $2,000,000 for the Department of Agriculture to fund an internship program. The program hired ONE full-time intern.

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

A 2 million dollar intern. Cool.

‣ $120,000,000 paid to dead federal employees
‣ $2,600,000 to encourage Chinese prostitutes to drink responsibly
‣ $505,000 to promote specialty hair and beauty products for cats and dogs
‣ $27,000,000 to teach Moroccans how to make pottery

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

27 MILLION DOLLARS?!

WHY THE EFF DO WE NEED TO TEACH MOROCCANS TO MAKE POETRY?!

‣ $300,000 to encourage Americans to consume caviar made in Idaho
‣ $200,000 on a “tattoo removal progam” in CA
‣ $60,000 for the IRS to create a parody film of Star Trek and Gilligan’s Island
‣ $1M per year for NASA to create food menu for Mars mission that is decades away

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

Gag me.

‣ $202,000 to determine if Wikipedia is sexist
‣ $242,600 to study effects of cocaine on honey bees
‣ $4,900,000 to dress students up in fruit costumes and encourage them to eat healthy
‣ $495,000 on commercials to create jobs that never created any jobs

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

The 5 mill for fruity students was CLEARLY necessary.

‣ $250M training 60 Syrian rebels to fight the Islamic State
‣ $10M on creating two video games aimed at fighting obesity (FOR REAL)
‣ $900,000 studying social interactions of guppies
‣ $6.3M for VA facility in California to buy artwork

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

Because that’s what the VA needs – art.

‣ $10M to studying dog tail wagging
‣ $325,000 to build a robot squirrel
‣ $2.5M on coasters for bars that say “IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING”
‣ $31M on first class flights in 4 years for the Department of Health and Human Services alone

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

…did someone say robot squirrel?

PS “IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING”…and then we’ll call you a racist.

‣ $1.3M studying effectiveness of koozies keeping drinks cold
‣ $100M to clean up environmental mess that Environmental Protection Agency created
‣ $387,000 studying the effect of swedish massages on rabbits
‣ $5M on tweeting responses to pro-ISIS rhetoric

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

…stop.

‣ $3M researching why lesbians are more likely to be obese than straight people
‣ $516,000 on a video game about prom
‣ $706,800 to have shrimp fight each other with the goal of helping military and manufacturing engineers
‣ $26M building religious sites across the globe

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019

Lesbians are more likely to be obese than straight people?

That explains a lot.

I think I speak for literally everyone when I say: tell me more about this robot squirrel.

— Nick Ross (@NickRossTX1) January 10, 2019

I have so, SO many questions. I don’t even KNOW that I want the answers.