

I am by no means a radical feminist. I think men and women are fundamentally and wonderfully different. I think transgender athletes should compete with their biological sex. I think the “sexual liberation” movement is making people miserable. Go ahead and call me a TERF, already.
But there are still things that I believe are rooted in sexism that I get worked up over, and I’ll tell you right now, they’re pretty weird. Like why is it when the ruling monarch of the UK is a woman, her husband is called a prince, but if it’s a man, his wife can be the queen? That’s sexist. When my husband and I got married, I told him I would like it if we both hyphenated our names, because A) my last name is a perfectly good one and B) he’s joining my family just as much as I’m joining his. I also said if he didn’t want to change his name, then I wouldn’t change mine either. (We both did– and rolled dice for whose got to go first.)
Aaaand I’ve always chosen the title “Ms.,” both before and after marriage, because I don’t get why a woman’s title should be affected by her marital status when a man’s isn’t. (For the record, Germany agrees with me— they’ve phased out the use of “Fräulein” and use “Frau” pretty much across the board.)
So you can imagine my ire when I stumbled upon this little Twitter gem.
— Wren 🖤🦇🏳️⚧️ (fat girl fall is here!) 🎃 (@pickledstardust) March 10, 2022
Basically, this is a little exercise for trans and I guess probably nonbinary? folx to self-affirm their brave and beautiful identities by clarifying which gendered terms you’re allowed to call they/them. Because EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW, ALRIGHT?!
But, of course, there’s something missing. You know, right between the “Miss” and “Mrs.” options. Uhh. . . @ radically inclusive Twitter, WHERE THE HELL IS MY “MS.” OPTION?
I know you’re probably thinking this doesn’t matter and wondering why the heck I’m getting so worked up over it. But hear me out.
I’ve already made my case for why “Ms.” is a significant option in terms of a woman’s– that is, an adult human female’s– identity. Omitting it from an exercise that is part of a movement which aggressively bends itself into pretzels trying to be inclusive is at best sloppy, but at worst just another place where women are being erased.
It’s not about the patriarchy anymore– if it were, “Ms.” would be the ONLY option, since those oppressive men better not think they can change us women just by marrying us! This radical trans movement, whether by intention or as collateral damage, is bulldozing the meaning and experience of being a woman worse than the “oppressive patriarchy” ever has (and I’m talking about historical societies that I actually agree were sexist).
I mean, holy hell, when we don’t even get to keep dominion over menstruation— the literal WORST PART OF WOMANHOOD– you can bet your balls I’m gonna fight tooth and nail for “Ms.”
10 Comments
So if you are part of a group and you chose no for they/them…
When I got married, we never got into the last name issue. I was just relieved every time my wife walked into the room I was in, she did not make me stand at attention, salute and call her madam.
Oh, should I not be having my husband do that?
>he’s joining my family just as much as I’m joining his.
Not really. The father of the groom doesn’t “give him away”. That begs the question, why is the woman given away? So she has someone to protect and take care of her. Assuring women are protected isn’t sexist (well, not in the bad way).
But, of course, you do you.
Both my parents walked me down the aisle. 🙂
I am 100% sure it was because both of your parents were united in their delight to be welcoming your husband into their family.
Uh-oh, Gloria Steinem, (who coined “Ms.”) isn’t gonna like the omission of Ms.!
Steinem coined it? Really? To the dictionary (1957 edition)! Well, what do you know, Ms. isn’t in there. Learn something new every day.
You seem oddly invested in this topic, so let me ask; what would your suggestion be to address a female that wasn’t contingent on her marital status?
Her name.
But, “oddly invested”? How do you figure that?