Tampax Sponsors Dudes?!

What’s the difference between out of control progressivism and sheer insanity? Apparently just a year or two of “progress”. Everyone owes conspiracy theorists everywhere an apology at this point. They said the impossible would happen, and indeed the train has gone off the rails.

Tampax, the maker of tampons, for people who have periods, have emergency nose bleeds, or need to field dress bullet wounds, has chosen two biological males to sponsor. I sh*t you not. Dylan Marsh and Jeffrey Marsh, representing tampons.

Now, it’s definitely possible these are the kind of people who get chronic nosebleeds; I wouldn’t be surprised. So, maybe. But I know for a fact both of these dudes would fall into a dead Scarlet O’Hara faint at the words “bullet wound”, and neither has a period, so neither needs a tampon.

Like, ever.

Neither of these dudes grew up trying to sneak a tampon up their sleeve and steal out of the classroom or discretely tuck one into that little change purse pocket of their jeans to walk across a restaurant. Neither has ever had to bang on the stall beside them to ask a stranger to borrow a plug, or scrounge for twenty-five cents to get a cardboard applicator out of a forty year old bathroom vending machine. 

Part of what I find hilarious about this whole movement is that women didn’t get free menstrual products in bathrooms until men were allowed in there. Because, you know, progress.

I’m not crazy about boycotts, but I do have my fine lines. I still buy Always, even after they took the female symbol off their products to be “more inclusive”. But I would shave my legs with a rusty bread knife before I’d use a Gillette razor after their commercial on toxic masculinity. I’ll be finding another tampon brand before Tampax decides to do an exposé on where exactly the Marsh’s are sticking theirs…

Twitter is ablaze, as it should be, and the comments give me a glimmer of hope for humanity.