Putin Grants Edward Snowden Russian Citizenship

Yesterday, Vladimir Putin publicly granted Russian citizenship to around 70 foreign nationals, including U.S. whistleblower Edward Snowden. Snowden applied for Russian citizenship in 2020 for the sake of keeping his family together, so it’s good news for him.

YAY SNOWDEN FAMILY.

(Side note, does Edward own shirts that aren’t short-sleeved plaid button downs?)

Anyway, on to the bigger questions, like what is Vladimir up to?

This granting of citizenship comes very shortly after Putin called up about 300,000 Russians to get their butts into Ukraine, which begs a lot of questions. Does he expect to conscript Snowden and the 69 other newly-minted Russian citizens? Probably not. Granted, that group probably has slightly nicer feelings toward Russia right now than the average Russian, but I doubt it’s enough to galvanize them to roll into Donbas. Even if they did, it’s not like 70 more people would make much of an impact.

I also don’t think Putin expects to be able to turn Snowden to his side, considering the only reason we all know his name is because he released confidential information about his government’s assf*ckery of its people. I’m not an expert on foreign or domestic policy, but I think it’s probably not the smartest move to give the world’s most famous whistleblower access to your corrupt AF government’s secrets. Putin knows this, too.

Really, I think this move boils down to Putin going for one of the only wins he can still pull off. He can’t make the people of Ukraine citizens of Russia, but doggone it, he can do it to a handful of people who asked for it. Plus it’s an opportunity to rub Snowden in the U.S. government’s face: “We still have this man you’d probably like to hang, draw, and quarter for treason. Neener, neener, neener.”

A weak flex, but at least it’s better than the nukes he’s been threatening.