Postmates Bizarre Pride Ad Campaign: How Not To Poop Yourself During Anal Sex

I’ll take just a moment to marvel at the ingenuity of capitalists who can monetize literally any subject, including pooping yourself. Now that that’s out of the way, this whole ad campaign is actually quite bizarre. Postmates is a food and grocery delivery service, and they launched an ad campaign for pride month featuring “the world’s first Bottom-Friendly Menu.” Now just watch the ad, then I’ll break it down for you.

What is a “Bottom-Friendly Menu,” you ask? Well, it’s a list of foods intended to keep your digestive system working in such a way that you don’t poop yourself while you’re having anal sex. That’s it. That’s literally it. A list of foods you should eat (and can order through them) that will keep you from pooping on your partner’s genitals. The whole ad campaign is about gay and queer sex, (which honestly is a bit sexist, don’t you think?). The fruit and veggies are creatively dressed in various kink attire, they can be seen engaging in interesting behaviors. Peaches are heavily utilized, as they symbolize the human derrière in this age of emojis, as are various firm and elongated vegetables like zucchini and eggplant, which is a fairly obvious euphemism. Did you see the peach rubbing his “face” into the open end of a can of beans and smearing the brown juice around?

The ad opens by explaining,

“If you’re a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want. But if you’re a bottom… You’re expected to starve? Not this Pride!”

“Top” refers to the partner doing the penetrating, which means the one that wouldn’t be accidentally pooping on their partner during anal sex, which means they can eat anything they want because they don’t have to worry about having poop in their colon. That’s why this menu is called “bottom-friendly.” It’s for the bottom partner for bottom stuff, as it were.

It’s essentially a list of healthy foods that healthy people should be eating anyway. It lists fresh produce, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and fish as being foods that “digest easily and slowly,” which would help to prevent a messy explosion, while recommending against dairy before the deed. Their menu clearly excludes processed foods, especially sugary treats and fast-food.

I’m sure Burger King is disappointed that Postmates recommends against their fast-food because they also have a pride-specific ad campaign. You can “have it your way,” with two top buns or two bottom buns on your Pride Whopper. I guess you have to eat that “Pride Whopper” with the understanding that it might be messy later, or so Postmates ad campaign implies.

Interestingly, both of these ad campaigns have come under fire from some in the LGBT community. According to some, the Postmates ad campaign implies that gay sex is significantly dirtier than straight sex, which is apparently homophobia-adjacent, and at least decidedly prejudicial.

As for Burger King, their ad was called “straight hell” and the ad agency who created it actually had to apologize for their “fundamental misunderstanding about how gay sex works.” I kid you not, this is real life.