Minnie Mouse Gets Woke Progressive Makeover

I just want to say a huge congratulations to mega entertainment corporation, Disney, for their extraordinary bravery. This is true bravery. Minnie Mouse just got a couture makeover and it is exactly as progressive as you’d think. Internationally renowned British fashion designer Stella McCartney created a dark blue and black polka dot pantsuit to replace her iconic red dress, which was apparently entirely too feminine for such a visible and influential cartoon mouse. And I’m entirely underwhelmed by her new look.

Stella McCartney has designed Minnie Mouse’s very first pantsuit, and it’s gorgeous 😍 #DisneylandParis30 pic.twitter.com/jKSckBji36

— Disneyland Paris EN (@DisneyParis_EN) January 25, 2022

But hey, it’s progressive. It’s woke. According to McCartney, it’s “a symbol of progress and empowerment for a new generation” that isn’t supposed to embrace femininity (unless you’re a man identifying as a women). And wokeness is what really matters these days. That red dress Minnie Mouse used to wear was a historic symbol of repression and discrimination, and that has no place in this brave new woke progressive world. They want to tear down all the historic social constructs, like femininity in women, in order to build back radical woke progressive communist and gender fluid.

What this makeover really proves is that Disney is committed to anti-discrimination and anti-repression. They’re not about to treat any type of person any type of way that isn’t the very most inclusive and progressive, even their cartoon mice.

Now all the Uyghur slaves over in China (at least those who manage to survive rape, torture, forced sterilization, and racial genocide) can get to work making millions of new Minnies with pantsuits for Disney to sell for a massive profit while virtue signaling their progressivism, inclusivity, anti-discrimination, and anti-repression.