Amazon Delivery Driver Was Caught Stashing Packages, Tries To Say He Was Dumping His Own Feces

Yup, just in time for the holidays! As if we all aren’t wary enough about random people stealing our packages as they sit on the front porch.

An Amazon delivery driver, Desmond Gould, age 23, was throwing an Amazon package into a wooded area, which was witnessed by a Logan Township, New Jersey police officer.

As the Daily Caller reported:

A police officer from Logan Township, New Jersey had initially seen a van parked on the side of a highway on Nov. 2, Newsweek reported. The police officer approached the driver after he saw him throwing a box into the woods, according to The New York Post.

Gould actually tried to explain to the officer that he was actually boxing his own turds and tossing them into the woods.

Yup, just poo-ing in boxes with total strangers names printed on them and still neatly taped and closed.

Did he think he was being polite? Like, ‘hey, maybe if I make it look like I wasn’t just popping a squat in public, that’ll make me look better.’ I’m trying to rationalize it from his perspective, but once we’re discussing an explanation that consists of turd-tossing, I’m out.

Police allege the driver, Desmond Gould, 23, was hiding the packages and planning to retrieve them later, according to The New York Post. The eleven packages the driver stashed were valued at $288.87, the outlet reports.

Police charged the driver with theft and illegal dumping, Newsweek reported.

According to Newsweek, Amazon delivered a statement confirming that Gould no longer works for them.

“This does not reflect the high standards we have for Delivery Service Partners,” Amazon wrote in a statement, according to Newsweek. “We take these matters seriously and can confirm this individual is no longer delivering Amazon packages.”

At least now we have a lovely visual.