Environmentalists Want Us To Live Petless (Joyless) Lives

My boyfriend and I adopted a 5-year-old Wheaten Terrier, Stella, about 7 months ago now. (Pictured above in her Halloween costume. She’s a Lady Pup.)

She’s completely changed our lives. It sounds odd, I know she’s a DOG and all… but she’s entirely taken over our hearts. There’s absolutely no doubt she’s our first “baby.”

Our love for her has legitimately brought us closer together. Camping, hiking, cuddling on the couch? Everything’s just better with her around.

And so, like most good things, whiny jerks want to take that joy AWAY.

According to Daily Wire:

According to a study out Monday on global climate change, your dog (or your cat) is probably killing the environment, and if you want to stem the tide of global warming, it’s time to say “good-bye” to Fido and Fluffy.

The study, which appears in the online journal, PLOS, claims the human compulsion to seek out animal companionship is one of the primary factors affecting our climate, particularly in the United States, where there are 163 million companion animals — roughly one pet for every two Americans — the highest number of any country in the world.

I have two cats, too. Clementine and Napoleon. They’re not my babies – they’re my grumpy old roommates. But here’s a picture of those little scamps. I wouldn’t want them to feel left out:

As a 3 pet household… we’re obviously an ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER OMG.

ANYWAY…it’s their food and their poop. Or something.

Researchers at the University of Sydney, in Australia, claim that those 163 million pets have a detrimental impact on the environment, from the food they consume, to the waste they produce.

“In the US, there are more than 163 million dogs and cats that consume, as a significant portion of their diet, animal products and therefore potentially constitute a considerable dietary footprint,” the study’s abstract proclaims. “Here, the energy and animal-derived product consumption of these pets in the US is evaluated for the first time, as are the environmental impacts from the animal products fed to them, including feces production.”

The solution?

Live joyless, petless lives.

There’s only one solution: no more pets. “Reducing the rate of dog and cat ownership, perhaps in favor of other pets that offer similar health and emotional benefits would considerably reduce these impacts,” the study concludes.

Alternatively, the researchers recommend having your pets go vegetarian, something that’s not recommended by veterinarians or animal health and welfare experts who concede that having some type of meat-based protein is best for your four-legged friends — particularly those whose ancestors were carnivorous.

I asked Stella (who sits at my feet as I type) how she feels about going veg.

Hard pass.

Soooo anyway. I love the Earth. But Stella, Clementine, and Napoleon (and their meaty treats) are here to stay!