OMG Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Avenatti Said This UN-Ironically And I Am DYING.

This is the most hilarious thing I’ve read all day.

Y’all saw Hannah’s earlier post about the rumor that floated around this afternoon – that Avenatti had been punked by 4Chan and that the whole “credible witness” he’s been saying he’ll bring forward soon was really just some 4Chan troll, right? If you missed that, you can catch up right here.

It was a truly delicious rumor, but alas, he promptly denied it.

But then he kept talking, and that’s when things got hilarious.

According to the sourcelink, he lashed out about the rumor, telling Politico:

“I made the determination she was 100 percent credible well before Sunday night. We’ve received over 3,000 inquiries in the last six months from people with all kinds of crazy stories and fabrications. I’ve heard it all. I’ve seen it all. Like we don’t vet clients. Give me a break.”

Ok. Fair enough. He vets people. Look at him go.

BUT YOU GUYS, then he said this:

“This is just crazy that somebody can just tweet something out like this, or post it, and people just take it as truth. It’s crazy.”

He said that un-ironically, you guys. He said it without recognizing that the very context we’re having this entire conversation around is about a couple of chicks who’ve just hurled out truly disgusting allegations against Brett Kavanaugh that are 36 years old, and are expecting to be taken at their word, simply because they made the allegations (and because they’re women). And further, Avenatti’s expecting to be believed when he tweets stuff about a client of his, who hasn’t come forward yet, saying that Brett Kavanaugh is a gang rapist.

To quote Avenatti himself, it’s just crazy that he can just tweet something out like that, or post it, and people just take it as truth. It’s crazy.

HOW DOES HE NOT HEAR HIMSELF.

Incidentally, his defense for that was as follows:

“I’ve been really clear. The timetable has not changed,” he said. “We haven’t moved the timetable back. Nothing’s changed. We don’t just do this at the drop of the hat. Had we waited until everything was in place to surface these allegations, then everyone would be complaining that we just dropped this on the committee at the last moment. There’s no winning in this situation. We wanted to surface the allegations for the committee, reasonably, once they were vetted, which is what we did.”

He went on:

When asked whether she would take her story public regardless of whether the committee called her to testify, Avenatti responded: “Correct.”

“We have not arrived at a firm plan relating to the initial disclosure of these allegations,” he said. “We are still working through it. This is a very dynamic situation with a lot of emotions at stake.”

Dude. You’re a creepy porn lawyer who’s earned every bit of the scorn that people have for you. Your client’s emotions don’t matter to you – only your ego matters to you.  And why you’re taken seriously by ANYONE, I have no earthly clue.

Anyway, get ready for his client to come forward any minute now, because apparently even though I’m convinced on a daily basis that our country has reached full stupid, I keep discovering that we’re still nowhere close to capacity.