The Internet Is Desperately Trying To Figure Out #WhoBitBeyonce

Consider this your WTH news of the day.

Let’s get right to it. GQ did a big profile on actress Tiffany Haddish, and she told the most WTH story in the history of WTH stories. And yes. It involves Beyoncé.

Apparently, Haddish met Bey at some sort of party back in December, and someone at that party BIT BEY’S FACE.

Like this balls-to-the-wall insane story she can no longer stop herself from telling about Beyoncé. Last December, Haddish met Beyoncé Knowles-Carter at a party. Beyoncé walked up and said, “I’m Beyoncé”—the understatement of the century—and the two women had a brief, pleasant exchange. But that’s not the story.

“There was this actress there,” continues Haddish, keeping her voice low, “that’s just, like, doing the mostest.” One of the most things she did? “She bit Beyoncé in the face.”

Haddish declines to name the actress.

(“I absolutely cannot comment on any of this, as I have no knowledge,” said Beyoncé’s representative, Yvette Noel-Schure, when GQ sought confirmation from the singer.)

“So Beyoncé stormed away,” Haddish says, “went up to Jay-Z, and was like, ‘Jay! Come here! This bitch—’ and snatched him. They went to the back of the room. I was like, ‘What just happened?’ And Beyoncé’s friend walked up and was like, ‘Can you believe this bitch just bit Beyoncé?’ ”

“And so then…,” she continues, “a lot of things happened.”

According to Haddish, she and the actress continued to cross paths throughout the night, culminating in a brief standoff. The actress, at one point, told Haddish to stop dancing, which—good luck making that happen.

“And then Beyoncé and Jay-Z walked by me, and I tapped Beyoncé.”

Haddish says she told Beyoncé, “I’m going to beat somebody ass at your party. I just want to let you know that.” Beyoncé asked her not to—told her to “have fun” instead. (Haddish leveraged this moment into a selfie with Beyoncé.)

“Near the end of the party,” says Haddish, describing her final run-in with Mrs. Carter sometime later, “Beyoncé’s at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight.’ She was like, ‘Tiffany, no. Don’t do that. That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.’ ”

As you can see, she wouldn’t say who bit Bey’s face, and of course everyone is DYING to know. Hence, #WhoBitBeyonce is trending.

I cannot leave this planet without knowing who bit Beyonce in the face

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018

For once, Chrissy and I are on the same page. I don’t like Bey– she annoys the CRAP out of me– but I also really need to know who bit her, OK? Judge meh.

I can only think of one person who would do this. but I cannot say. but she….is the worst.

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018

Update it is NOT the person I think is the worst. IM DONE

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018

I NEED TO KNOW. Even Kit Kat needs to know.

I bet they did this too… #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/iWNeKqEyHa

— Kit Kat (@KitKat_US) March 26, 2018

I’ve been thinking about #WhoBitBeyonce all day

— Shuri stan (@gyal_chester) March 26, 2018

Some facts we know:

-Chrissy Tiegen has heard things and she knows the person involved is "terrible."

-Beyoncé said "the bitch is on drugs."

-Tiffany Haddish felt like she could whoop that ass.#WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/qGN5LoQkMn

— ANCHOR BLUE EMPLOYEE 🛒 (@joshhottness) March 26, 2018

Whoever bit Beyoncé is looking like this today. #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/V9eiavpyuq

— Margaret Haywood (@NsyncKitten) March 26, 2018

Pretty sure it was Becky with the good hair #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/UZpUjdHNTu

— Sam Grewal (@SamGrewal133) March 26, 2018

My money is on Gwyneth Paltrow.
I'm calling it now. #WhoBitBeyoncé

— Zennia🌙🌹 (@TheZennia) March 26, 2018

The Brain Dust made her do it!

On the next season of American Crime Story #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/XwS3KStukd

— Joel Cazares (@jcazres) March 26, 2018

#WhoBitBeyonce I have my bets on Jennifer Lawrence. She’s the worst and Hollywood knows it

— Lia (@_karbashian) March 26, 2018

Hm. It’s a possibility…

Let’s narrow it down. Possible suspects:

•Lena Dunham
•Jennifer Lawrence
•Lena Dunham
•The star of ‘Girls’#WhoBitBeyonce?

— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) March 26, 2018

HAHAHA OMG YES. Lena is tooooootally a contender.

Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawerence, and Gwyneth Paltrow😂😂😂 #whobitbeyonce pic.twitter.com/tyaQIGD0S7

— 20Something & Living (@20SNL_) March 26, 2018

They seem to be the top three…

Everyone on twitter rn #WhoBitBeyonce pic.twitter.com/OdhB45PDpe

— black madonna Ⓥ (@salmahashi) March 26, 2018

Basically.

We’ll let you know as soon as we find out #WhoBitBeyonce.