Crotch-High Uggs Exist, And They Are Horrific
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January 19, 2018I know it’s a busy news day, but every now and then, I need a break from the political drama. Tracking Schumer’s every move can be exhausting. (I mean on Twitter. I’m not hiding in bushes, just to be clear.)
Earlier, I interrupted this incredibly busy news day to inform you that Kim and Kanye named their baby girl Chicago West. Ah, yes. Nothing says, “Welcome to the world, sweet innocent child!” like naming your kid after the murder capital of America.
I now interrupt your day to bring your attention to something equally as unimportant.
Crotch-high Uggs, you guys. The fashion industry is trying to make this happen.
Apparently, Ugg partnered with the Y/Project to create these things, which are ACTUALLY ASSAULTING MY EYES.
My vision. I think it’s been IMPAIRED.
Friends, I regret to inform you that thigh-high Uggs exist now. I'm sorry that you have to see this.https://t.co/Pd5yIsioSP pic.twitter.com/deEw5hALRc
— Kim Bhasin (@KimBhasin) January 17, 2018
Y Project designer Glenn Martens kept the trademark elements of the iconic, love-it-or-hate-it brand based in Goleta, California, including sheepskin and the shoes’ famous chestnut color.
For the rest of the shoes, though, he completely departed from the classic bootie’s shape, and instead created several extravagant models.
One of them consists in a multi-layered shoe with three rinds of fur going up the model’s leg.
Another is a thigh-high, droopy boot with a flat sole, engulfing the model’s lower body.
NOOOOO.
“Putting on Uggs is like putting your foot in a warm pot of butter, and I thought why not elevate that and immerse your full legs,” Martens wrote in a press release. “So we decided to design an Ugg boot that climbs up to the crotch and covers the whole leg.”
Oh yes. I’ve always wanted my boots to touch my crotchular area. Fashion. Look it up.
Look– I wasn’t a big fan of Uggs to begin with. I have a pair of knock-offs that I ONLY WEAR on long trips to and from New Hampshire during the winter. That’s it. But these new and improved Uggs are just…AWFUL. Even if I wanted to wear them (which I DO NOT), it wouldn’t work. My legs weren’t built for above the knee boots. These would totally look like pants (don’t get any ideas, guys) on me. Thankfully, these are hideous, so I’m not worried about making them work. Not interested.
Cosmo is very excited about these, because Cosmo.
STOP EVERYTHING: Thigh-high Uggs now exist https://t.co/iw3oqVdFl4 pic.twitter.com/E5HLaNXhGP
— Cosmopolitan (@Cosmopolitan) January 18, 2018
— LaLa (@LaLa_O7) January 19, 2018
would we call them puggs when they inevitably become pants
— Samuel Rubenfeld (@srubenfeld) January 17, 2018
And there are "men" in this photo.
— Becky Kevoian (@BobsFunGirl) January 18, 2018
Yes. There are. It’s quite tragic.
— Xina (@christinakhill) January 18, 2018
— Tracy (@girldotcom37) January 18, 2018
LMAOOO that is terrifying
— Weezy F Jilly (@j_heft) January 18, 2018
It's like they stepped in tall paper bags and stapled some insulation to the tops😩
— Lyds (@hawtho28) January 18, 2018
To quote John Stamos, “I just threw up in my eyes.” #no
— Monica Sherer (@monshertx) January 18, 2018
PS– all of these Uggs range from $270 to $1,380. Please know that if you’re going to purchase a pair of $1,000 crotch-high Uggs, I am judging you.
h/t Daily Mail
