A clever and competent reader recently turned me on to a feminist writer by the name of Amy Horton, who writes for an online publication called Bolde (among others), which I’d never heard of until just now. That website’s About page says that its purpose is as follows:
Bolde is a platform for single women to express themselves about dating & relationships. Our editorial mission is to inspire open and uninhibited conversation about what it’s like to be single and dating today, how to lead fulfilling lives as single women (because a partner is NOT a requirement for an amazing life), and how to have the healthiest and most satisfying relationships.
So I mean, right away you know you’re going to be reading a whole bunch of whining from women who are pretending that they’re strong, independent women who don’t need no men, while they simultaneously pine for the men they desperately wish they had.
Amy Horton, in particular, exemplifies this to the power of a zillion. I browsed through her column titles, and here’s what they look like from oldest to most recent. Keep in mind, all of these columns are from the last 12-18 months, in chronological order, and this isn’t even all of them. And these are just from one of the sites she writes for.
They tell quite a story, don’t they? BEHOLD:
I’m Not A Bitch, I’m A Badass Woman
I’m Done Dating Broke Guys, But That Doesn’t Make Me A Gold Digger
Why I’m Giving Up On Dating Until I Get My Act Together
I Contracted Genital Warts – Why I’m Not Ashamed
Why Does Every One Of Your Exes Meet His Perfect Girl Right After You
9 Reasons I Love Oral Sex More Than Regular Sex
9 Legit Reasons You’re Attracted To Losers
9 Reasons Hooking Up Is So Much Harder For Women
Why I Cheated After Swearing I Never Would
I’m A Strong, Independent Woman – But I Still Want The Guy To Make The First Move
8 Reasons I Absolutely Love Giving Head
If You’re Desperate To Date, You Should Probably Stay Single
8 Reasons Falling In Love Is So Hard For Strong Women
Here’s How I Know I’ll Never Meet My Soulmate On A Dating App
The More Special You Are, The Harder It Is To Find The One
They Sure Don’t Make Men Like They Used To – What’s A Girl To Do?
I’m Sick Of Guys Who Are Intimidated By Me
If He Won’t Go Down On You, Get Him The Hell Out Of Your Life
I Haven’t Had Sex In A Year, And I’m Getting Desperate
I’ve Never Really Dated And I’m Awkward AF Because Of It
I’m Too Busy Falling In Love With Myself To Fall In Love With A Guy
How To Have Casual Sex Without Catching Feelings
I’m So Jaded About Men That I’m Not Sure How To Date Anymore
I Don’t Need Your Money – I Can Spoil Myself
10 Reasons I’m Done Being Anxious About Finding Love
For The First Time Ever, I Don’t Care About Finding A Boyfriend
Being Single Is Awesome – Here Are 15 Reasons To Love Not Having A Guy
I Don’t Care If We’re Just “Hooking Up” – I Still Have Standards And Expectations
I Haven’t Had Sex In A Year And I’m Slowly Going Crazy
I Broke Up With My Boyfriend And Found Myself
I Don’t Care If It’s Naive – I’m Holding Out For Fairytale Love
Call Me Jaded, But I’m Starting To Lose Faith In Real Love
The More I Talk To People In Relationships, The Happier I Am To Be Single
You Guys… I Think I Might Legitimately Die Alone
I’m Kinda Badass And If You Can’t Handle Me Don’t Waste My Time
Opinion: Most Men Aren’t Capable Of Being Faithful
I’m Totally Happy Single But I Do Need A Hookup Buddy
If You’re Worried You’ll Be Single Forever, Read This
You’re A Total Badass – Screw Guys Who Don’t Get It
I Refuse To Bend Over Backwards For Yet Another Man
Guys, Stop Being Lazy – I Won’t Date You If You Put In Zero Effort
I’m Too Busy Being Awesome To Worry About Guys And Dating
I’m So Disillusioned By Dating That I Might Not Recognize The Right Guy When I Meet Him
If One More Person Tells Me The Right Guy Will Come Along – I’m Gonna Lose It
I Think I’m Pretty Awesome, But I Seem To Scare Guys Away
Seriously, Why Can’t I Find A Decent Man?
I Can Do Badass On My Own – But I’d Rather Do It Alongside Someone Else
I’m Probably Going To End Up A Crazy Cat Lady And I’m Ok With That
If I Were Any More Single, I’d Be Dead
This Is Why You’re Still Single AF Even Though You’re Awesome
Goodbye Dating – I’m Done With You
I Think I’ll Give Up And Go Full Cat Lady
I’ve Been Single For So Long, I’m Scared To Look For Love Again
I Don’t Chase Men – You’ll Have To Try A Little Harder If You Want To Be With Me
I Have Some Big Plans For My Life And Getting Married Isn’t Part Of Them
Men Say They Want Strong Women, But That’s Not Been My Experience
I Haven’t Had Sex In So Long, I Think I’ve Forgotten How
I Want Love But There’s Legitimately No Room In My Life
I’m A Major Catch, But Only If You’re Ready For A Real Relationship
I’m Really Pessimistic About Love And It’s Not Good
I’m A Hopeless Romantic With Very High Expectations For Love
I Love Being Single, So A Guy Will Have To Be Pretty Amazing To Change That
I Know I Have To Try If I Want To Find Love, But Dating Is Just So Exhausting
I’m Excited To Date Again And This Time I’m Not Giving Up My Self-Respect Or Lowering My Standards
I’m An Amazing Woman, But Men Don’t Seem To Realize That
The Longer I’m Single, The More I Want To Stay Single
I Act Tough, But Secretly I’d Like To Find Love
I Don’t Hate Men, But I’m Having Trouble Finding One I Like Enough To Date
The Man Of My Dreams Turned Out To Be Nothing Like The One I Had In Mind
I’m Dating Someone Who’s Emotionally Mature And I Don’t Even Know How To Handle It
Do I Live In The Wrong City Or Do Men Everywhere Just Suck?
I Want Love But I Don’t Need It — And That Feels Amazing
Having A Partner Would Be Nice, But Love Is a Perk, Not A Requirement, For A Great Life
I Think I’m Amazing But I’ve Never Had A Guy Treat Me Like I Am
Every Time I Date Someone, Everything Falls Apart In An Instant
I’ve Totally Given Up On Dating And My Life Has Improved Dramatically
I Try To Date But Always End Up Wishing I Hadn’t Bothered
I Stopped Looking For Love In Favor Of Building An Amazing Life All On My Own
I’m Done Waiting For My Other Half—I’m Finally Realizing I’m Already Whole
11 Reasons The Idea Of Commitment Scares The Hell Out Of Me
I’ve Been Searching For A Great Boyfriend And Now I’m Realizing That I Have To Be My Own Boyfriend
I Give Up—Being Single AF Is Better Than Dating
I Used To Chase Guys But Now I Know That Love Will Find Me When I’m Ready
I’m Panicking Because I’m Getting Older And There’s No One Left To Date
I’m Starting To Question Whether I’ll Ever Find Real Love
I Don’t Have A Boyfriend In My Life But Guess What—My Life Is Still Awesome
Why Can’t I Find A Good Guy Who Isn’t Intimidated By Me?
I Don’t Want A Boyfriend But I Want The Benefits Of Having One
I’m All About Making The First Move With Guys But They Don’t Seem To Like It
I’m Tired Of Meeting Awkward, Obnoxious Guys—Where Are All the Normal Ones?
I’m Waiting To Date Until I Meet Someone AWESOME Who Has Staying Power
I Love Being Single But It Would Suck To Be Single Forever
My favorite, hands down, is the one titled, “I’m Too Busy Being Awesome To Worry About Guys And Dating.” I mean, it’s clear from just this sampling of her past 18 months on one of the sites she writes for that she literally spends every waking moment worrying about guys and dating. And, presumably, she gets paid to worry about guys and dating, so I suppose that’s a bonus.
According to the clever and competent reader who tipped me off about Amy Horton, she’s 42 years old now. She writes similar articles for a several sites, and they’re more of the same. Being single and dating and wanting a relationship and not wanting a relationship and talking about sex and having sex and not having sex CONSUMES this woman’s life. I have to believe that part of the reason she’s having trouble finding love is that when she meets dudes, they google her, read some of her stuff and run for the hills.
AS THEY SHOULD.
If there were a genuinely helpful dating how-to website, it would say in huge letters, DON’T BE LIKE AMY HORTON. Because while I’ve been married for nearly two decades to my husband, I still have enough common sense about dating to know that dudes tend to shy away from chicks who sound this freaking neurotic.
Oh, and she does videos too. Like this one:
I mean, what dude doesn’t want some of that, I ask you?
Yikes.
And then there are tweets like these:
I miss @POTUS44 and @MichelleObama soooooo much 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞
— Amy Horton (@AmyHorton18) September 22, 2017
I fucking love @Kaepernick7 – that is all #goodman #goodperson #leader #shiningexample
— Amy Horton (@AmyHorton18) September 19, 2017
F*ck Trolls, Yay For Awesome People: https://t.co/43S7ySuCJf via @YouTube
— Amy Horton (@AmyHorton18) October 2, 2017
Yeah. The problem isn’t her AT ALL. It’s just all men. Men are the ones who suck for not loving her, y’all.
Wow.