The Government Is Spending $4.4 Million To Study Melon Purchase And Consumption

Of all the ways to waste money…

We’re currently $19.9 trillion in debt (and counting). Republicans and Democrats continually fuss over where we should cut, but I think I found one place of “excess” we can all agree is a giant waste of money: Melons.

Yep. That’s right. Melons. As it turns out, the USDA decided it would be a good idea to grant Texas A&M around $4.4 million to study melon purchase and consumption. The program aims to “establish a center of excellence research, extension, and outreach program for melons.”

An outreach program for melons. We’re paying for that.

“It is anticipated that this stakeholder-driven approach will lead to development of unique cultivars (with improved quality, safety, and sensory attributes) and increase consumer loyalty and repeat purchasing,” according to the project’s description.

The program description reads in part:

“Objective 1. To identify and analyze factors influencing consumer behaviors related to melon purchase and consumption. We hypothesize that new melon varieties bred to be safer, healthy, and flavorful will result in higher consumer acceptance and willingness-to-pay.”

The project has five objectives total. Those are as follows:

The proposed project has five objectives: (1) Identify and analyze factors influencing consumer behaviors related to melon purchase and consumption; (2) Develop cultivars that address producer and consumer needs using genomics-assisted selection and breeding to harness genetic diversity of melon varieties and improve nutritional quality, flavor, safety, and stress resistance; (3) Develop region- and cultivar-specific agronomic practices and technologies to improve production efficiency, nutritional quality and safety attributes; (4) Identify critical control points and develop pre- and post-harvest strategies to minimize microbial contamination; (5) Establish a Center of Excellence Research, Extension, and Outreach Program for Melons with a focus on improving consumer awareness and meeting the consumer demand for safe, high-quality melons that exceed minimum quality standards thereby resulting in profitability for producers and retailers. The CAP team spans 13 disciplines and institutions from 7 states. We expect that enhancing melon quality, nutrition, and safety, while providing elite cultivars well-suited to regional production and distribution, will benefit producers, processors, distributors, and consumers nation-wide.

Don’t ask me why it costs millions of dollars to “analyze factors influencing consumer behaviors related to melon purchase and consumption.” What factors could there possibly be besides the fact that people who buy melons like melons, and they choose the melons that look the most melon-y and delicious? Am I missing something? Surely, it shouldn’t take $4.4 million to study the behavior of those who purchase the occasional melon.

h/t MRCTV