Woman Spends Thousands Of Dollars To Increase Her Breast Size To 32S

This is the most atrocious thing I’ve ever seen. It’s totally non-political, but I think it serves as yet another extreme reminder of what can happen when society obsesses over physical appearances.

Meet Martina Big. She’s a 26-year-old woman who decided that she needed to transform herself into an “exotic Barbie.” She’s gone through a lot to achieve that, too. She’s spent thousands of dollars to boost her breast size to 32S. Yes. S.  I didn’t even know that was possible. She now claims to have the biggest breasts in Europe.

You might’ve noticed her unnatural Cheeto/milk chocolate skin tone. That’s deliberate too. It’s actually the result of tanning injections, which again, she willingly does. She wants to achieve a “dark, crispy brown” tone.

“I love the contrast of my bright blonde hair and my dark, crispy brown skin,” she said, according to the Daily Mail. “I love seeing the reactions of people. I can see their big eyes when I walk past and their shocked faces, thinking ‘how is this possible?'”

I don’t know about you, but when I think of ways to describe my desired skin tone, crispy always comes to mind. (Definitely kidding about that.)

Can I say something? Those knockers look painful. Why would someone do that?

“Hi Doctor. Yes. I’d like big boobs. Preferably, boobs so big that they compromise my ability to carry out daily tasks. Also, I want to rule out the possibility of every sleeping on my stomach again.”

Seriously. You could knock someone out with those things. I ACTUALLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE.

Unsurprisingly, she has a boyfriend, and he’s very supportive of her endeavors. He even got tanning injections too!

“I didn’t want to go quite as dark as Martina but I support her and like her new look very much,” he explained. “It is a great feeling for me to have Martina by my side. I am the boyfriend of the woman with the largest breasts in Europe.”

“I hope for the future that Martina will continue inflating her breasts, inflating her lips, getting more tanned and getting big butt implants,” he continued. “Martina has this extreme look because she has always followed her heart. She and I, our dreams are the same and from change to change, Martina just becomes even more beautiful.”

Isn’t that what every gal wants to hear from her man? “Babe, I hope you continue to puff those breasts up. Also, BOOTY. That’s what I see in your future.”

How romantic.

By the way, Martina insists she’s not trying to pull a Rachel Dolezal. She’s fully aware that she’s not a black woman.

“Yes, I have the skin of an African girl,” she said, according to the Daily Mail. “But I am not pretending to be a black girl. I’m going to create a unique and exotic Barbie with dark tan, bright blonde hair and exaggerated curves. I like this look.”

So in a weird way, is she less crazy than Rachel Dolezal? I mean, at least she’s honest. She says she wants to become the “ultimate real-life Barbie bimbo.”

So yeah. This woman exists. And I couldn’t know about it alone. You’re welcome. Or I’m sorry. I’m not sure which to go with.