Chelsea Handler Thinks That Trump Won Because White Women Don’t Support Other Women. I’d Like To Talk About That.

I was going to write an open letter to Chelsea Handler, but then I realized how sick of open letters that I am.  So I’m just writing a post instead to anyone that’ll read it.  You know, like I’ve done out here since 2009.

Chelsea wrote one of those open-letter thingies to American women about how we don’t support other American women.  It was neat.  And not at all effective in changing any minds of actual women who have actual brains, mind you.

She seems to specifically know a lot about how white American women don’t support other American women, and that makes a lot of sense, seeing as how she’s a white woman and she’s presumably had a lot of hands-on experience not supporting women like, well, me.   I’m conservative, though, mind you.  And to liberal chicks like Chelsea, conservative women like me aren’t considered support-worthy women.  I mean, if we were, then she would’ve been awfully excited to support a woman like Carly Fiorina, right?  Politics be damned.  Fiorina is the real deal.  She’s a successful, self-made business mogul.  Fiorina was free of scandals.  Fiorina didn’t have a husband who is the (*shudder*) Bill Cosby of politics.  Fiorina didn’t defend rapists of 12-year old girls.   Fiorina wasn’t a corporate lawyer for years and then blatantly covered that up in her resume when she ran for president, because that’s, like, super inconveeeeeenient when you’re a selfless Democrat.  It’s way better to talk about being all-for-the-kiddos (you know, after you threw a 12-year old rape victim under the bus and said that she basically asked for it, dontchaknow – how’s that for supporting women, huh?).  Fiorina didn’t allow four men to die in Benghazi.  Fiorina knows WHAT A FREAKING CLASSIFIED EMAIL is.

But listen – Carly also has that pesky “R” next to her name, and she believes in the sanctity of life, so she’s not worthy of someone like Chelsea’s support.  Not wanting to ram scissors into a baby’s spine at 15 weeks is downright worthy of a Shariah comparison instead, y’all.  (Just ask Chelsea in her open letter.)

Anywho.  Back to regular ol’ (white) chicks like me.

Chelsea said that I am a (white) woman who “takes my rights, liberties, and justice” for granted.  Only – I don’t do that at all.  And she’d probably know that if she took her own advice, got out of her bubble of Hollyweird, read just a handful of our thousands of posts out here, found “women that are different than (her), and figure(d) out things that she has in common” with them.  Perhaps she’s too busy getting naked on social media and trying to stay relevant.  Ooops, my bad.  I meant empowered.  Lord knows I wouldn’t want to slut-shame anyone or assume anything about a woman who aspires to be stoned and single and kidless all day.  I’m just one of those working moms with a husband, kids, and career who lives a non-celebrity, square life worthy of ridicule.

Anywho, Chelsea assumes a lot about regular people.  If she did practice what she’s preaching, she would realize that we do indeed have one thing in common, indeed.  Both our candidates were white and rich.  My candidate just happened to not be a lying criminal who ran on a platform of calling half of America “deplorable,” while her gaggle of tongue-wagging followers constantly pummeled good, hardworking Americans with the labels of sexist and racist and misogynistic and homophobic for the past eight years, day in and day out.  People get really sick of that nonsense, by the way, especially when it’s a giant load of horse sh*t.  They grow weary of getting beat up every day, following the rules, while simultaneously paying the bills.  And one day, they wake up and say, “wow, I’m sick of being stepped on and told who people think I am…UP YOURS,  establishment and media and out-of-touch Chelsea Handlers of the world.”

And bam – Trump gets elected.

It has nothing – NOTHING – to do with women not supporting women.  And I can’t believe that still, after all these weeks, Chelsea Handler has ZERO SELF AWARENESS.  The sheer ignorance here is staggering, really.  I realize she probably took three weeks to cry in her designated safe space tucked away in her mansion, while smoking an obscene amount of pot and then spent an equally obscene amount of money on her celebrishrink while the rest of us adults had to go to work, pay our bills, and go about our daily lives to keep things going out here in the real freaking world, but still.  We are five weeks out now.

And the only progress she’s made is to tell white women that we’re a bunch of mean girls?

Remind me to not become a pot-smoking, self-absorbed, press-believing, out-of-touch celebrity.  Because wow.

You know what we Chicks did when Obama got elected and we weren’t thrilled with it back in ’09?  We had some chips, salsa, and margaritas and then started our own woman-owned business.  Because America.  We believe in it and ourselves (what the in the hell is a patriarchy, anyway?) And in 2012, we just had one too many cocktails on election night, I had a touch of a hangover for a few hours the next day, got myself togeteher, went to work and moved on with life.

Back to Chelsea Handler thinking that she’s smarter than you, other white women.

How very high school.  How very condescending.  How very self-important celebrity.  How very typical.

Well, God bless her.  Conservative women understand that we have SO MANY better things to talk about than gender.  Or race.  We want to talk about things like the economy, national security, our kids’ college, immigration (yes – following the laws, go figure!), and that colossal trainwreck that is Obamacare.   As strong, independent women, we care about things other than our ladyparts…you know, actual issues, and we don’t compartmentalize those issues into little boxes called “women’s issues.” They’re just America’s issues to us.  And then, just like we do for the businesses that we run in our own lives, we look for the most qualified person to do a job, and we hire them.  Go figure.  We want someone who is going to roll up their sleeves and get crap done.

Forty-two percent of women voted for Trump.  And 45% of college-educated white women voted for Donald Trump.  It’s not because we’re white.  It’s not because we’re a bunch of Stepford wives.  It’s not because we hate women.  It’s because we’re paying attention to what’s going on and we’re freaking smart.  It’s because women are accomplished and a lot of us are self made, and we aren’t going to be told what to do by a blowhard, condescending celebrity who calls us a “whitemare.”

Seriously.  Screw that.  Don’t tell me and my Chicks how to freedom.

We support women every day.  Our site here was founded by strong women, run by strong women.  And will continue to thrive as such.  I’m raising two of those strong, kickass conservative women, by the way.  They’re amazing.  (And my boy is exemplary, too.)

We support women by supporting America, because we’re all in this together.  The difference is that we don’t discriminate.

I think it’s unnerving that Chelsea ended her little rally cry with a quote from Malala Yousafzai, as if she – or liberal women have somehow been squelched in this country.  If anything, it’s conservative women who have been the redheaded stepchildren for the past 8 years.  I can show her my restraining orders if she’d like to see them.  Or I can just replay the tired, old, played, worn-out narrative that she and the mainstream media has used against us.  The one that failed miserably in the election last month.

I do love the quote she used:

“I raise up my voice — not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard… We cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”
―Malala Yousafzai

Yep.   That’s right.  And we’re turning it up to 11.