Just a Quick Reminder That PETA Is Freaking Nuts

I was at the store yesterday to buy some body wash. Usually I go with Dove, because it’s fine, but they had some packaging that raised a couple of red flags. Well, really just one. Cruelty free? GREAT! Certified by PETA? Oh, Jaysus.

Seeing this proudly emblazoned on bottles of Dove body wash reminded me that not everyone out there is aware that PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, is. . . well, to put it lightly, they’re f*cking bonkers.

So I thought I’d let y’all know, in case you weren’t already aware that PETA is not only not helpful in the fight against animal abuse and cruelty, but they are actually actively hindering their stated goals.

Let’s start with the “certified cruelty-free by PETA” issue. This one I only just learned about, like, five minutes ago, because my main beef with PETA has always been that they’re dog killers (more on that later). But as it turns out, we can’t even take them seriously on this, because PETA’s criteria for brands to be cruelty-free doesn’t take into consideration post-market testing on animals.

Basically, in the past, China has conducted post-market testing on cosmetics that were NOT made in China. So even if a product isn’t tested on animals during the development, if they wound up on Chinese shelves, they could be pulled and tested on animals at that point. Now, China has changed its laws and post-market animal testing is rarely ever done anymore, but a lot of (actual) animal rights activists won’t accept anything less than a 100% guarantee. Which is fair enough, because also why would anyone take China’s word for anything ever.

PETA, however, doesn’t really give a fart about all that. All they insist upon is a written agreement to not test on animals, whereas Leaping Bunny, the gold standard for cruelty-free, actually requires audits of companies to ensure they’re keeping to their word.

But onto the most objectionable of PETA activities.

PETA kills dogs.

Their shelter in Norfolk, Virginia has an alarming rate of euthanasia among the dogs and cats it takes in. PETA argues that this is because they take in every animal that comes to them, however sick, injured, or maladjusted, whereas “no kill” shelters can be choosy and simply close their doors to cases that will most likely end up being euthanized. (Exercise caution in opening that link, because there’s a lot of really hard to see images of really unwell animals. PETA loves nothing so much as shock value.)

But this doesn’t hold up. First of all, the difference between “kill shelters” and “no kill shelters” is an important one to understand. “No kill shelter” sounds way nicer, because no one wants to think about animals being put down for reasons unrelated to health. But kill shelters, better referred to as “open admission shelters,” deserve our love too, because these shelters (often government-run, like your county’s animal control facility) take every animal that needs attention. Sometimes that attention is a quick and gentle death, which is a hard thing to accept, but it happens. Closed admission (no kill) shelters do great things for animals. So do open admission shelters. Don’t fall into the trap of accidentally pitting them against each other; we’re all on the same team here.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, now back to PETA.

Their shelter is not unique in being an open admission shelter, yet their euthanasia rates are still abnormally high– over 50%. An animal law practitioner broke down the numbers of PETA’s shelter compared to three other local shelters– all also open admission– and it is shocking.

So that’s the statistical, are you ready for the anecdotal?

PETA ended up paying a family $49,000 after they rolled into a trailer park, scooped up a little girl’s chihuahua, and then killed it.

Two women affiliated with Peta – Victoria Carey and Jennifer Wood – travelled to Accomack County, Virginia, because they said a mobile home park owner asked for help capturing wild dogs and feral cats.

The women removed an unattended and unleashed chihuahua named Maya, which was a Christmas present to nine-year-old Cynthia Zarate.

Maya was put down later that day, a violation of a state law that requires a five-day grace period. Peta was fined $500 for the violation.

At this point, you may be wondering what PETA actually does accomplish for the ethical treatment of animals. And it’s a fair question! So let’s look at some answers.

They share alternatives to “speciesist” language.

Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Here’s how to remove speciesism from your daily conversations. pic.twitter.com/o67EbBA7H4

— PETA (@peta) December 4, 2018

They support feeding your pets vegan diets. (Please don’t.)

They share videos of apparent meth users playing tennis with a carrot dong. (IF I HAD TO LOOK AT IT SO DO YOU)

“Traditional” masculinity is DEAD. The secret to male sexual stamina is veggies. 😉 pic.twitter.com/51DUsqzyO3

— PETA (@peta) January 16, 2019

And, I’m bringing it up again because of the WTF factor. . .

THEY ABDUCT AND MURDER LITTLE GIRLS’ BELOVED PETS.

So, in short (or, as the kids say, TL;DR), don’t affiliate with PETA. They’re not only crazy, they’re dog killers.

(For some bonus WTF hilarity, enjoy PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk’s will.)

And if you, like me (and unlike PETA), actually care a whole lot about animals, here’s some tips to make your existence animal-friendly!

• Donate local! A rule of thumb for all philanthropy is to support local organizations. They have less overhead and a more direct relationship with the community than big national nonprofits. Support your local shelters (open and restricted admission alike), wildlife rescues, and other animal organizations.
• Shop local! If you want to make sure your meat, eggs, dairy, etc. are cruelty-free, buy them from a local farmer. No one loves their animals more than the men and women who are out with them every day.
• Consult ACTUAL cruelty-free lists when you buy cosmetics. The aforementioned Leaping Bunny is a great resource.
• Make your yard a welcoming haven for local wildlife. Put up bird feeders and bat boxes. Plant indigenous flowers. If you’re in the UK (yeah, yeah, I know you’re not, but I am), make gaps in your garden fence for hedgehogs to trundle through. Consult local wildlife rescues to get great resources on how you can help local wildlife thrive– without enabling the more. . . opportunistic of them, shall we say. (It’s raccoons. I’m talking about raccoons.)
• Go to the zoo! Sure, thirty years ago that might be questionable advice. But in 2022, zoos are an incredible way to support conservation efforts– while also having a delightful afternoon. Admission prices may seem steep, but that money doesn’t just go to the care of the zoo’s animals. Many (reputable) zoos– dare I say most– fund incredible conservation efforts worldwide. Do some research to ensure your local zoo is on the up and up, but the odds are in your favor.
• Do some research before you spend money on any animal-related recreation. Sea World? Maybe give it a skip. Thinking about a circus? Look into it first. If you’re traveling abroad, be mindful that a lot of countries don’t share our sensitivity to animals before booking that novelty animal experience.

Please feel free to share below any of your own tips, resources, and ideas! (And, if you have a dog, SEND PICS.)