Calling It Monkeypox Is Now Raaacist

Of all the things that are considered racist these days, and there are MANY, Monkeypox is my current favorite. The World Health Organization said it will rename the virus that was first reported in Africa after concerns that the moniker could stoke racism and stigma. A group of 30 international scientists wrote a letter stating that "continued reference to, and nomenclature of this virus being African is not only inaccurate but is also discriminatory and stigmatizing". I think it's discriminatory that these people get to call themselves scientists instead of pansy*ss hobbyists, but we all have our preferences. 

I'm sure monkeys everywhere are celebrating that sensitivity training around the world is finally working. Chickens are still waiting for their day in court. This virus have been around since they 1970's. It's been called Monkeypox since the 1970's. But today it's racist. Mkay.

Was is first discovered in monkeys? Yes. In Africa? Yes. People who associate monkeys with humans could be considered racist, but they won't be because they shouted racism first! On themselves. But still, kudos to them. It's like, can you actually win musical chairs if you're the one who set out the chairs, picked how many people would play, and you have your hand on the pause button? Yes. But does anyone consider it valid. No. Because it's dumb. You're dumb WHO. Just dumb.

This reminds me of the time I had a friend from California visiting my house and I asked her to tell my little monkeys (my beige/blackish kids) to show her little monkeys (her pale as hell, blonde haired, blue-eyed surfer dude kids) where the outdoor toys where. This is where I should clarify; she was not MY friend, she was a friend of a friend. I would never be friends with someone sensitive to the point of insanity. Anyways, this woman proceeds to tell me that she was uncomfortable with me referring to my OWN children as monkeys....

No, I'm not kidding.

So I asked her if she had a problem with me calling her children monkeys, and she didn't. "Of course not!" she said. "It's totally different!" When I asked her if my children reminded her of subhuman, wild animals more than her own lily-white children did and if so why, she didn't have an answer. Weird. Long story short, we're no longer friends of friends. She probably thinks I'm racist. 

I am aware that in the 1800's there was a history of comparing Blacks to monkeys and apes. The term porch monkey was used decades ago to describe Black people as lazy and having nothing better to do than hang out on their porches all day. At a time when most Blacks lived in low income housing without air conditioning and spent a lot of time simply lying around outside to cool off, I can see the offense its usage implied. But that's neither here nor there. The Left wants you to believe that the meaning of the word "woman" can change, but the racism tied to monkeys is inherent and everlasting. Please make up your mind.

In fact, the last time I heard someone being called a porch monkey, The Root's writer, black woman Monique Judge, called Donald Trump’s Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson “a monkey of the porch variety”. Judge experienced some backlash online, but she stands by her statement and defended it as non-racist. Maybe monkeys can monkey around calling other monkeys monkeys without consequence? I'm no rocket surgeon.

Here's the thing; I have always called ALL children monkeys. I work with children on a daily basis. There are a lot of monkeys, and most of them aren't black people or brown people or anything considered "Ethnic". Or people. Monkeys eat bugs out of each other's hair. They stick their fingers up their own butts. They jump up and down when they're excited, and they throw poop just for funsies. If there's a more perfect comparison to children, I simply haven't found it yet. And that goes for children of any race.

Sometimes a monkey is simply a monkey. Only racist people seem to see it otherwise, so in the biggest self-own ever, scientists demand change for their own "racist" ways. The WHO will be renaming the virus with a series of numbers and letters that I can't possibly be bothered to remember, and therefore I will continue to call it Monkeypox. I don't hate monkeys, though I don't know any personally, and I don't think you can be racist against an animal but it seems anything is possible these days.