Opinion: We Need To Be Having The Hard Conversations With Our Children

According to the DailyMail.com, uterus-shaped breakfast cereal now exists thanks to a Swedish company called Intimina. They’re calling it “Period Crunch,” and it’s raspberry-flavored, red, and shaped like the female reproductive system. Their goal for this cereal is to normalize discussion about periods by sparking conversations at the breakfast table about a subject that is often considered embarrassing or uncomfortable.

“Periods are normal and talking about periods should be normal. But because of the ongoing stigma around menstruation, period conversations remain difficult and embarrassing for people, even with loved ones.”

While I’m not at all interested in uterus cereal, I whole-heartedly agree with their underlying goal of promoting open communication with our children, especially about sensitive and sometimes difficult or uncomfortable topics. We need to be talking to our children. We need to be communicating with them and having the hard conversations. We need to be age-appropriately open and honest with our children. We parents need to establish a constant line of open communication with them so that they feel comfortable and confident coming to us with questions or concerns. Because if we aren’t having these conversations with our own children, you can be sure that their friends, teachers, and various other social and cultural entities will be having these conversations with them.

Talk to your children about reproductive health, personal accountability, and responsibility. Talk to them about their biology and the physical capabilities of their bodies. Talk to them about racism, kindness, human connection, and respect for our neighbors and friends. Talk to them about protecting themselves physically and emotionally from those who might do them harm, even those they consider friends or family. Talk to them about the tactics being used to corrupt or influence them, how to recognize them, and how to avoid them. Talk to your children about their emotions, feelings, reactions, and mental health, and help them understand those things in themselves and others so they can be personally resilient and support those around them.

Make yourself aware of how they are feeling, what they are doing, what concerns them, and what brings them joy. Engage them in conversation and encourage them to include you in their successes and their stumblings. Be the person they want to share things with, and be the kind of parent from whom they can hear difficult, uncomfortable, embarrassing, but necessary things.

Please, just talk to your children.

I’m a fan of the “line upon line” teaching method rather than the one-time firehose of information method. While that may sometimes be appropriate, it isn’t always necessary to make a momentous occasion out of having “the talk” about any of these issues. That can be stressful for both parents and kids and puts a lot of pressure on everyone. Rather, as small opportunities present themselves in your daily life, take a moment to have organic conversation and teach them something age appropriate. It can simply be a casual and comfortable exchange in a relaxed everyday moment, even if just a few sentences. Make that kind of comfortable and organic conversation the norm in your relationship.

And while you may be worried about whether you’re “doing it right,” the fact that you’re doing it at all and worrying about doing it right means you’re probably doing it right enough. When you talk to your children, not only do they learn from you about important issues, but they also establish a bond of trust and communication that is essential for their future.

The bottom line is that we need to be talking to our children. We can’t feel embarrassed about or intimidated by difficult topics, and let that keep us from communicating with our children. Because if it isn’t their parents who are talking to them, then others will talk to them behind our backs, whether or not we realize that it’s happening.