Things You Don’t Know About Immigration: Healthcare Edition

In December of last year, I got married to my partner of 4 years and began the excruciating process of immigrating to his native land of England. I have lost roughly ten years of my life to the stress and rage the process has caused, and I’m like, barely halfway. This week’s theme of Immigration Irritation: US vs UK on healthcare!

In one corner, we have the United Kingdom and the National Health Service. In the other, we have the United States of America and Obamacare. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO UTTERLY DECIMATE RACHEL S’S WILL TO LIVE??

NHS’s strategy is to hit you where it really hurts: your pocketbook. They assume that, if you live in the UK, you’ll probably use their nationalized healthcare, which is fair enough. They also assume that people on family visas will not pay taxes, which is an absolute JOKE because YOU try living literally anywhere in the developed world and not pay taxes you don’t even know you’re paying.

But logic has never dictated government policy, so before I could even submit my application or make an appointment to be fingerprinted, I had to pay an “immigration health surcharge.”

Wanna guess how much that surcharge came to?

Two thousand and five hundred f*cking dollars. $2500!!!!

And, while it’s stupid that I have to pay it all up front instead of in regular installments (which is how the fee is calculated in the first place), it gets stupider, because I intend to work in the UK, since I’m not a directionless freeloader. NHS is funded by income taxes, but as best I can tell, I will never get a refund of this immigration health surcharge, meaning that I’m basically paying for healthcare twice over. Who can afford that?? Who SHOULD??

So, after that amazing show from Team UK/NHS, Team USA/Obamacare decided to take their turn.

First, a quick point of clarification, I only need healthcare in the US for “up to 12 weeks,” which is how long the UK government says my visa application will take to process. I was previously living in England on a temporary visa; to apply for a permanent family visa, I have to leave the country and leave my passport in the very capable hands of UKVI (UK Visas & Immigration).

Did I say capable? I meant utterly useless, since they actually lost my last visa application and I was left hanging for weeks on what should have been a 3-5 day process until my then-fiance got his Member of Parliament involved.

Anyway, the point is I’m back stateside for however long it takes to get my permanent visa (because “up to 12 weeks” is government speak for anywhere from ten days to a year and a half) and need healthcare while I’m here.

But when we tried to figure out how to get me some of that sweet, sweet, Obamacare sauce, we found out that I’m not allowed, for one of the stupidest reasons I’ve ever heard in my life: My husband doesn’t pay taxes in the US.

Yup. I, Rachel S, who is a US taxpayer and citizen, cannot get healthcare from the government, because I’m married to someone who is not a US citizen, does not live here, has never paid taxes here, and has no interest in receiving Obamacare or any other “perks” from the US government.

MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE.

So, basically that’s national healthcare for immigrants: a one-way ticket to alcohol dependency. And they won’t even pay for it when you have to have your stomach pumped.