Journalist’s Disastrous Love Story With Big Pharma Criminal Shkreli Goes Viral

Everyone knows someone who is just terrible at relationships. That person who drags a walking, talking pile of trash to a family dinner or friends night out because (for some odd reason) they want to show off the pile of garbage holding their hand. At some point this relationship ends in anger or tears, there may even be cries of “but I love him/her!”

In the best case scenario it becomes a funny story you can hold over their heads when they mature past it. Worse case scenario it ends in an epic, public showdown. The police may even be called. But if your friend or family member is just as much of a relationship dumpster-fire as the trashbag they’re lugging around, you’re in for a long and crazy ride.

I just read an Elle magazine interview that’s the epitome of relationship sh*tshow. It’s a soup sandwich, a snafu. A slow-motion, head-on collision of two clown cars. And it’s gone viral. I feel bewildered, slightly dumber, and astonished that these kinds of people exist. Come share in my tumult.

You may remember Martin Shkreli, hedge-fund manager and pharmaceutical CEO who increased the price of a life-saving, anti parasitic drug from $13.50 to $750 per pill literally overnight. He was also accused of stealing from one hedge-fund to pay clients in another.

Before being convicted in 2017 he was nicknamed “Pharma Bro” and “The most hated man in America”. Now his prison pals call him “Krispy,” “D-Block,” or “Asshole.” So basically, not exactly a stellar guy. He’s certainly not the kind of person you bring home to your parents (because he literally can’t go anywhere, HE’S IN PRISON), nor do you quit your job, ruin your marriage, move into a basement apartment, hop on a 6 a.m. prison van for a visit, or declare your love to start a relationship in a crowded prison visitor room over vending-machine snacks and the keen eye of a prison guard. Unless, of course, you’re former Bloomberg journalist, Christie Smythe.

I don’t know her life. Maybe she likes saving people, maybe she has daddy issues, or maybe dumpster-fires just like the warmth of other dumpster-fires. I can’t tell you what’s going on here because it literally makes no sense.

I read the entire Elle interview. Then I read old articles. And I’m still wondering what in the actual hell is wrong with these people.

After Christie Smythe broke the story of Martin Shkreli’s arrest in 2015 she was able to secure an in-person interview. Christie was an experienced journalist who covered white collar crime for Bloomberg News since 2012. On Shkreli explaining how investors were ultimately paid back the funds he was holding she noted, “You could see his earnestness”. Um, right.

Later, when he called her and asked advice on hiring a new lawyer, Christie felt “flattered”. “It really felt like he didn’t have anybody to talk to…” Uh…So. Maybe he didn’t, or maybe I’m just cold-hearted, but if someone I don’t know is on trial for any kind of crime the last thing I’m doing is having a girl-chat and adopting them like a stray puppy. For a journalist, I assume it would cross some sort of ethical boundary, and as a woman with a fair bit of common sense it just seems stupid. Call my office to schedule an exclusive that boosts my career or please go away.

And if you’re flattered that a suspected criminal only has you to talk to, it’s time to see a therapist about those daddy-issues…

Christie Smythe and Shkreli continued to meet occasionally. They bonded over their anxiety issues, which is always the start of a spectacularly strong relationship, except when Shkreli would “ghost her for weeks over some perceived offense.” Yes, I can see how she fell, the magic is really brewing here.

In 2016 Christie wrote about Shkreli for one of her classes during the Knight-Bagehot Journalism Fellowship at Columbia University . She detailed how “manipulative he was to reporters” and how “he had so successfully” drawn her in. So she decides, yup, this is a healthy avenue to pursue, I’m all in.

Showing the paper to Shkreli prompted him to suggest that Christie write a book about him. And you know Christie by now, she’s like, THAT WOULD AMAZING! So Christie starts spending more time discovering Martin Shkreli, you know, for the book. She covered his court proceedings daily, and joined him at events. “It almost felt like I was a political wife.”

So Christie has officially lost it.

Eventually she is defending him publicly, tweeting pictures and tagging other journalists. She texted and emailed his friends when he was sentenced, emailed him, and visited him in jail frequently. Christie even missed (intentionally) her first counseling session with her husband because it fell at the same time as one of her weird little jailhouse visits with Shkreli. It’s easy to see why neither her job nor her marriage survived. She resigned in 2018 and her divorce was finalized in 2019.

Christie said she was angry at the establishment. No one wanted to read her dumbass book with a delusional take on Martin Shkreli, the issue was clearly them, not her. With nothing else (like a stable life) in her way, Christie was clear to realize her true feelings for Martin. She was head over heels in love.

Cue the eyeroll. I’m annoyed and disgusted by this whole thing. What the heck is going on?? This is “free, crappy romance novella with your purchase” if I ever read one.

Christie’s friends and family were supportive of the relationship. They were “stunned” but she seemed “significantly happier”. She seems like she needs an intervention, but whatever, live your life. And Martin is all in, it’s not like he has other options banging on his cell door. They’ve discussed kids names and the podcast Martin wants to start when he gets out. Christie has frozen her eggs in preparation for the future together, you know, after jail, and she’s even made friends with another jailhouse girlfriend she encounters on her frequent visits.

Life is…well, I wouldn’t call it good. Not even decent. But it could be worse. Yes, life is…going.

And then Christie does the Elle interview.

Rut roh.

Shkreli stopped communicating with Christie when he found out about the article. True love dies when you tell the story your prison-bound boo-boo told you not to tell. Now Christie is, I kid you not, monitoring Google Alerts waiting to hear from Martin. Prisoners can’t accept incoming calls, so she’s at his mercy.

Almost all of us have a bad relationship or two in our past. You spend too much time on the wrong person, you value the wrong things, or perhaps you were a completely different person then. No judgement on the relationship train-wrecks that we learn from, but this is a different level. And I know Christie was not the only disaster in this relationship, but Martin is actually in jail as America’s most hated man, so I had very low standards for him to begin with.

Stephanie Clifford, the journalist who conducted the Elle interview, reached out to Shkreli for a statement and he responded with “Shkreli wishes Ms. Smythe the best of luck in her future endeavors.” It’s not looking good homie!

I’ll be glad if 38 year old Christie Smythe can shake off what I hope was a mid-life crisis, or her family schedules that much-needed intervention. If I ever do some dumb crap like this and none of my family or friends call me out on it, I don’t want to talk to them after I regain my senses. We’re not bros. Someone should have had a heart to heart with Christie years ago! This is BS.

Good luck girl! Also, see a therapist.