Opinion: Media Predications Begin, Biden Could Be Next Messiah

Five seconds into Biden being called for the 2020 Presidential Election and Bloomberg is predicting unprecedented economic growth. There’s nothing to base this prediction on of course, certainly not the Biden/Harris position on taxes or the economy because those are actual dumpster fires. Still, Biden, so yay for everything!

This totally ignores Bloomberg’s article from October 14 that said Biden’s tax increases would stifle the economy. But if you remember that these are two different authors from different sides of the business, maybe it makes totally sense. It doesn’t. But someone, somewhere is likely to think so.

So in keeping with ridiculous trends, I’ve decided to make my own predictions. Clearly, I’m equally qualified. Hold on to your butts.

I think it’s fairly obvious that Covid-19 will all but disappear in a puff of smoke. Democrats will say we need mandatory vaccinations so it doesn’t come back, but still, it will sense the testicular fortitude of Joe Biden’s ruggedly manly presence and basically evaporate like the current flu numbers have done. Flu, unfortunately, will be making a comeback. Weird.

They will insist they need to implement some government controls to prevent any future pandemics, and Biden/Harris will have all the best ideas for that. Don’t worry, the loss of freedom is temporary (maybe 5-50 years, we can’t really be sure) but it’s for the greater good.

Democrats are going to raise taxes, but only on the bad guys. They’ll keep taxes fairly low for citizens, but extremely high for businesses and any individuals who run businesses, so most people will be affected in the end. This prediction is unsettled, because it depends on how stupid Democratic politicians are. Obviously a 60% tax rate will ruin businesses and families across the country, but some of these geniuses swear it’s better for people who already pay the majority of taxes to “pay their fair share” than it is for the country to do well. Don’t worry if this doesn’t make sense to you, it doesn’t make sense to me either. It’s possible Biden was lying about increasing taxes to appeal to his base of voters who don’t have businesses (or jobs), but in case he was telling the truth, we can look forward to our own “yellow vest” movement like the one that hit France a few years ago. It will still be blamed on Republicans.

Democrats are probably going to fight to eliminate homeschools. Can’t have parents teaching their kids the outdated values they espouse! Mandatory public education for everyone except the children of celebrities and politicians, but it’s okay because they’ll get their indoctrination at home.

I predict celebrities will start applying for dual citizenship and trickling out of the country as it’s drowning under the policies they asked their millions of followers to support. This is really the only prediction that I hope comes true. Please leave.

To be honest, I could probably fill a book with negative predictions about what Democrats would do to the country if given free reign to implement their crazy policies, but I have another prediction…Fiery Republican politicians have learned that you don’t have to play stupid political games, and they’re about to fight for our citizens like never before.

Fortunately we are a country with branches of government that provide balance and control for each other. Republicans currently control the Senate, Supreme Court, and the majority of state legislatures in the country. Let’s not lose hope or perspective. Any Democrats celebrating in the streets clearly don’t understand how government works. But that’s not surprise.