BREAKING: Scotland Pushing for Independence Referendum in the Wake of Brexit

The UK’s official departure from the EU is so young, obnoxious new moms could still get away with measuring its age in weeks, and Scotland is already plotting to be let back in. Surprised? You shouldn’t be, considering that Scotland OVERWHELMINGLY voted Bremain back in 2016, with the highest percentage of any region in the country. The second Brexit was officially happening, there were Scots calling for another referendum to declare independence from the UK and rejoin the EU as an autonomous nation.

So First Minister Nicola Sturgeon wasted no time in letting her ol’ pal Boris Johnson know that Scotland wanted to hold a poll on Scottish independence, and please would he agree to a transfer of powers like the one the got in the 2014 independence referendum so they could proceed.

Bojo responded with a decisive “No.”

Specifically, he wrote that the 2014 referendum was to be a “once in a lifetime” event and that he “cannot agree to any request for a transfer of power that would lead to further independence referendums.” And if that ain’t just the most British thing.

But members of Scottish Parliament voted MSPs voted 64 to 54 “to agree that circumstances have changed since then, and that ‘a referendum should be held,'” and they have the support of the country behind them. And let’s be real, the people of Scotland have been wanting to break up with England on and off since the 13th century. What happened in 2014 was a fluke; England had probably just sent them flowers or something.

Anyway, I suspect this is going to be one of the defining stories in world news for 2020, and I for one am excited to see it play out. I just want Scotland to be happy (but also please take your time, Scotland, I’d like to live in Edinburgh and if you leave the UK my boyfriend’s British passport won’t help anymore).