Homicide Detective Believes Epstein DID Kill Himself

I’m at this interesting point in my life where people keep tagging me in “Epstein didn’t kill himself” memes, probably because I very strongly believe Epstein didn’t kill himself. And if that makes me a conspiracy theorist, then I’m in plentiful, if not good company.

But in the interest of being balanced (and so that I don’t get Clintoned next) (IT’S A JOKE HILLARY I am making ZERO ACCUSATIONS), allow me to share with you the musings of former LAPD homicide detective Mark Fuhrman. His take? Epstein definitely killed himself.

Now, I’m not arguing with Fuhrman, who is a professional with 20 years of experience under his belt. That would be insane, seeing as I barely have 20 years’ experience of being a human and my credentials include and are limited to binge watching Criminal Minds and reading Healter Skelter WAY too young. It’s my intention only to provide counterpoints for the consideration of readers.

“This pains me,” said Fuhrman. “But if anyone thinks that they can prevent someone else from killing themselves then they are a moron. And Epstein wanted to die.”

“An autopsy of a person’s mental state is sometimes just as important as a physical autopsy,” he continued. “Epstein knew that he was going to be convicted and the trial was just a show for everyone to see him taken down… Who would want to be a pedophile in prison? You are the most hated person.”

So first counterpoint: If Epstein knew he was going down, wouldn’t a vile, skeevy, manipulative blackmailer want to take down as many people with him as possible?

“Did Epstein try to commit suicide before? Yes. Did anyone say at the time that it wasn’t a suicide attempt? No. Then why are we so shocked that he tried to do it again and succeeded?”

. . .

Furhman argued that simple analysis debunks the suspicions.

“Here’s how that conversation with the prison psychiatrist would go,” said Fuhrman referring to the screening that resulted in Epstein being put on suicide watch.

“Doctor: Well Jeffrey, why did you try to kill yourself? Epstein: I didn’t!  Someone tried to f**** kill me in my cell! Doctor: OK, I’ll get right on that for you.”

Honestly, I have no interest in arguing that Epstein wasn’t suicidal. I’m perfectly willing to be convinced that he HAD made a suicide attempt earlier. But I do like imagining that conversation with the most stereotypically inept psychiatrist in history.

Additionally, Fuhrman explained that there still is no physical evidence of a homicide.

“Let’s get back to the basics. If there was manual strangulation of a good size man there would be significant bruising on the neck… There would be evidence that the victim fought.  There would be broken fingernails — evidence that there was a fight. He didn’t have anything in his system to sedate him… without that evidence then it’s probably a suicide.”

True, there was no evidence of a struggle, but we do know the official autopsy plus the autopsy of a celebrity autopser (I couldn’t remember the term “forensic pathologist” but I kinda like “autopser” so I’m leaving it) indicate injuries to the neck and throat more in line with homicide than suicide.

“Jeffrey Epstein convinced his attorney [and] convinced the chief psychologist at the correctional facility that he was no longer a threat to himself,” [Fuhrman] told Fox Nation. “The attorney pushed it. The warden agreed with it. So … he was taken off suicide watch.”

Then, according to Fuhrman, Epstein made a suspicious move.

“Two days before he actually takes his own life, he gets his attorney and he rewrites his will, leaving most of his assets to his brother… I hate to tell anybody what clues look like. But let’s see. Two weeks prior, you try to commit suicide. You convinced the psychiatrist that’s working for the correctional facility that you’re OK. You call your attorney and you say, ‘I need to redo my will.’ Ladies and gentlemen, you’re preparing to end your life.”

That’s. . . actually pretty convincing evidence of a suicide. Fair play, Detective Fuhrman. Fair play.