BREAKING: Bernie Sanders Hospitalized for Artery Blockage

Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has been hospitalized in Las Vegas after experiencing chest pains, according to ABC News.

Upon evaluation, he was found to have a blocked artery, and two stents were inserted to address the problem. He’s now recovering and “in good spirits,” according to adviser Jeff Weaver. His upcoming appointments and events are cancelled until further notice, including a forum on gun safety.

I’m sure you all join me in wishing Bernie a speedy recovery; I’m glad to hear he appears to be feeling well and healing up, and I suspect the gun safety forum won’t lose any significant credibility in his absence. So all’s well that ends well.

That being said, campaigning is an enormously exhausting and stressful job. It’s no wonder his bid for president is taking a toll on Bernie. Forget the future of the United States for a moment, Bern. Think about your own future. Take care of yourself, pal. Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel.