FEMINIST CONUNDRUM: It’s Racist Not To Shave Your Armpits

Feminists are offended by everything. That’s just their M.O.

While feminists of the past fought for our right to vote, be treated as equals, and be able to choose our identities and achieve our dreams, today’s feminists fight over armpit shaving.

Is it oppressive to shave your armpits? Or is it RACIST to NOT shave your armpits?

THESE are the important questions feminists must now battle.

Feminists decided Janu-Hairy would stick it to the patriarchy. “What is Janu-Hairy?” you may ask. It’s simple. Feminist decided to not shave for a month and then donate money to charity.

Ok. Whatever. Do whatever you want. It’s a free country. I don’t care what you do with your pits.

Only someone DOES care. They care A LOT.

Why? Because it’s RACIST.

According to Daily Wire:

In an incredible piece for the ultra-feminist website, Jezebel, writer Prachi Gupta explains that white women embracing the hairy armpit trend aren’t actually demonstrating against oppression. In fact, they’re reinforcing it, as well as expressing support for notions of white supremacy, racism, and colonialism.

No, really.

“Let’s please keep it in perspective: a white woman discovering and promoting the wonders of not shaving her pits, in the dead cold of winter, when we shave the least anyway, is not a particularly brave stance,” Gupta writes.

“Pretty white women are often celebrated for their bushy eyebrows or for their courageousness in growing long, silky strands from their pits, but it’s black and brown women and trans people we should be honoring and highlighting; they are routinely mocked, harassed, and threatened for refusing to conform to Euro-centric, Western standards of beauty,” she continues.

…ok?

Then she really takes a whack: “While white women are liberating their pits, brown people, who have darker, and oftentimes coarser, thicker hair (in more places), are contending with colonialist expectations of what their bodies, and hair, are supposed to look like.”

Basically, it’s a symptom of white privilege — and, in a roundabout way, white supremacy — that white women can protest against oppressive, gender-reinforcing, Westernized standards of beauty just by not shaving their legs and armpits for a couple of weeks. And above all that, white women should feel ashamed that they’re even bothering to make an effort.

WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH?!??!?!

Ok – so as I’ve mentioned, my mother is Hispanic. Like her, my leg hair isn’t hair – it’s literally dark glass shards that sprout out of my legs. I can’t go a day without shaving my legs without feeling like I have two saguaro cactuses are growing from my torso in place of legs.

So. EFFING. WHAT?!

To say that white women who don’t shave their legs are RAAAACIST because my leg hair could literally poke out through my JEANS if I didn’t shave my own isn’t just silly – it’s mind-blowing.

WTF are you even TALKING ABOUT?!

Here’s the lesson of the day: American feminism is no longer about fighting for women. No matter what, there will be something RACIST, or OPPRESSIVE, or NON-INCLUSIVE about your efforts.

So here’s my take: why don’t we just agree to respect each other, and to BUTT OUT.

Ok? Great.