Woman’s Marriage To Pirate Ghost Is Over. This Is An Actual Story.

Our world. Holy crap is it wack sometimes.

According to the sourcelink, some completely bats*t weirdo in Northern Ireland got married to a 300-year old pirate ghost named Jack earlier this year.

Yes. You read that correctly.

Amanda Teague, who’s 45 and a mother of five kids from a previous marriage, apparently impersonates Jack Sparrow as a profession, and clearly the act has gone a little further into her head than it should have. She claims that back in 2014, she was visited by the ghost of a Haitian man named Jack, who was an 18th century pirate who’d been left at the altar and then executed for stealing.

Obviously, she fell in love with him. What’s not to love, amirite?

Anyway, one thing led to another, and Amanda says she and Jack started a sexual relationship. As you do, of course, with ghosts. She said, “Growing up in Ireland in my era, you were taught that if a man bedded you, he should wed you. I knew from my research that spiritual marriage was a thing, so it was more me that wanted to get married than him—he would have been happy like most men with just sex.”

That is an Actual Sentence that came out of her mouth, that is now part of an Actual Post on this website. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING.

Anyway, I guess she finally convinced Jack the pirate ghost to make an honest woman out of her, and they “wed in a private ceremony on a boat in the international waters off of Ireland, where the marriage would be legal.”

That there is a place on earth where such a marriage is considered “legal” is just further evidence that our world is freaking wack.

If you’re wondering how a person has a wedding ceremony with a ghost, I’ll explain. Amanda hired a shaman priest medium so she could “hear” Jack say, “I do” and instead of putting a ring on Jack’s finger, she held a candle to SYMBOLIZE Jack, and put the ring on that.

Obviously.

But alas. Marriage can be tough for some folks, and I suppose that when your spouse is not an Actual Person that makes it even tougher, so Amanda has recently come forward to make a devastating new announcement:

“So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over. I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with…”

But listen. If you have a non-traditional marriage, she wants you to keep your chin up.

“I hope by me coming out, it will encourage others to not feel alone or afraid,” she explained. “It’s not all like the entities in other horror films, there are loving caring spirits out there, too, you just need to know what you’re doing.”

Sage words.

If you’re interested in checking out Amanda impersonating Jack Sparrow, I have to say she does a pretty good job. Check out photos right here. You can also check out her wedding photo on her Facebook page right here.

But if you REALLY want to see something hilarious, check out the gigantic write-up about the legality of Amanda’s marriage that Snopes did. Snopes FOR REAL did a whole investigation into this. While they decided ultimately that Amanda’s marriage wasn’t, in fact, “legal,” they did confirm that Amanda is perfectly welcome to consider herself married to a ghost pirate.

This is why Snopes is so freaking ridiculous.

Anyway, sorry your ghost-marriage didn’t work out, Amanda.