Keira Knightley Bans Her 3-Year Old Daughter From Watching Cinderella. Because Feminism.

Keira Knightley was on Ellen yesterday, and she talked about her little girl during a lot of the interview. I totally get that – I mean, as a Mom to an 8-year old girl, I often find myself wanting to chat about how awesome she is and all the wonderful things she does and says and what she wants to be when she grows up (today, that would be a swim coach, if anyone cares).

Anywho, being a famous thespian and whatnot, Keira is very strict about what her daughter watches on the big screen.  And since she’s an obvious Hollyweird liberal feminist raising a feminist liberal girl activist-in-training, no self-respecting Hollywood daughter of hers can be subjected to the horrors of messaging contained within a movie like Cinderella. After all, Cinderella teaches things like chivalry (eeeeeewwwwwww NOOOOOO!!!!) – well, in addition to notions like “have courage and be kind” and KEIRA’S PRECIOUS OFFSPRING WILL NOT BE PRIVY TO SUCH THINGS OMG:

Boys rescuing you?  It’s so DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.  Kinda like helpless chicks being saved by big, strong leading men in those silly Pirates of the Carribean and Jack Ryan movies, amirite?

Huh.

I guess her daughter won’t be able to watch those one day, either.  I guess it was OK for her to make a crap-ton of money from Disney on the Pirates of the Carribean movies, but it’s just not OK for her daughter to watch Cinderella.  Because feminism.  Or something.  And she definitely can’t watch that Jack Ryan movie where Mom is a damsel-in-distress, either, which is too bad, ’cause Chris Pine is freaking hawt (he was also really good in Wonder Woman, but I’m assuming she’ll let her daughter watch THAT movie, since Amazons were in it, and that’s like, TOTALLY a real representation of Keira’s view of Actual Life and stuff).

Movies are just like Real Life.  Just ask Keira, who is a Hollywood actress.

But listen, Keira will “support her (daughter) in whatever she chooses to do…” unless her daughter chooses to be a conservative housewife one day – what do you want to bet?  No, seriously.  I’ll put money I don’t have on that bet.  Because that choice will never come to fruition (don’t be ridiculous – she’ll be too busy living off mommy’s money, presumably as an “activist’ – isn’t that what kids of Hollywood actors do for a living now, if they, too, don’t become actors themselves?).  Just like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s daughter doesn’t know that non-feminist conservative women (who raise businesses and babies…yep, that’s right, Maggie’s daughter!) actually exist in the world. (No, really we dooooo!)

Now, I’m not even a big Disney princess fan – but having a daughter has made me more tolerant and somewhat loving of them. I’ve been to Disney on Ice more times than I can count.  I’ve bought more Disney princess paraphernalia than I like to admit.  And for my daughter’s 6th birthday, I had two Actual Princesses (I think they were working their way through college, truth be told…but they were gorgeous with great singing voices) come to my home to entertain her and a bunch of OTHER 6-year old girls – all in princess attire.  I’ve lived the princess life, y’all.  I am quite adept at my princess knowledge now (somewhat against my will), and I will say that if I had to pick a favorite princess, it’d absolutely be Cinder-freaking-rella.

I was a fan of Drew Barrymore’s take back in 1998 (waaay before I had kids and OMG SOOOOO 90s….y’all remember?):

And the latest remake of Cinderella was one of my absolute favorites.  It was my daughter’s too, as we saw it together when it came out in ’15:

Cinderella has the best fashion sense of all the princesses (there’s no argument here, so don’t even play), I love the way karma worked in her favor at the end of her story.  Plus, I’m a big believer in both courage and kindness – I teach these virtues to my own daughter.  Why wouldn’t you? Plus, who’s to say that Cinderella didn’t save the Prince as much as he saved her? That’s what I believe, anyway.  At the end of the day, that’s what true love is all about.  Maybe Keira just hasn’t experienced that?  Sucks for her.

Bottom line is that third/fourth-wave feminists are wack.  I thank God every day I’m not one.  Those chicks literally suck the fun out of everything and their view of the world is a heaping pile of victimhood and rage.  And I truly can’t believe that they get men to live with them, let alone raise kids with them.

Truth.

All these chicks could stand to watch a few Disney princess flicks and freaking unclench for five minutes.