Food Labels According To Effect On The CLIMATE. This Is A Thing That’s Happening For Real.

Of all the things that I can’t even right now, this is definitely in my top 20.

According to the sourcelink, Denmark’s food products are going to get marked with stickers that show how much or how little they impact the environment, if a proposal being presented to the government this week gets approved.

This is how dumb everyone is now.

The Minister for the Environment, some dude named Lars, said in a press release that:

“We want to give consumers the means to assess in supermarkets the environmental impact of products.”

If you’re a person who would actually either buy or not buy, say, a bag of Doritos based on their environmental impact, please identify yourself so I can block you from any and every possible future social interaction.

What’s even more ridiculous about this proposal is the seriousness with which the Danish Agriculture and Food Council is discussing it. The director is all about the proposal but wants everyone to remember that:

“It might be necessary to weigh up the environmental impact against the nutritional value of the product. A bottle of soda may have a low environmental impact, but it is not a product you can live on.”

This needs to be said out loud? That soda isn’t a product you can live on? WHAT PLANET AM I EVEN ON.

Lars has big plans beyond just the labeling. He wants to have the government “launch a campaign to make it easier for consumers to make climate-friendly choices.”

I don’t do the grocery shopping in our family as a rule – my husband is much more efficient at it. He can be done with a week’s worth of grocery shopping in like 20 minutes because he treats it like a military operation – knowing exactly where the stuff he needs is, how much it costs, what aisles to shop in and in what order, etc. He should totally go on Price is Right because he would win everything. Plus I feel like he would look really hot spinning the giant wheel.

When I try to shop, I end up browsing for like 2 hours and buying expensive crap we don’t need, and forgetting half the stuff we DO need. If there’s a new gourmet pizza flavor blasted goldfish cracker in really fancy new packaging? YOU CAN COUNT ON ME. And don’t even get me started on the make-up/toiletries aisles.

In other words, I should not be allowed to grocery shop.

But you know what? I would never buy stuff according to how much it impacts the environment, because I’m not a hippie weirdo. So at least there’s that. And hopefully, common sense will win out here at home.

via GIPHY