San Francisco Launching A ‘Poop Patrol’ Team To Clean Up The Human Crap In The City

San Francisco is basically an overpriced public restroom. I hear it was once a beautiful city and would love to one day take an iconic picture with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background, but liberal policies have destroyed the city. If I ever want that photo, I’ll have to rummage through my old shoes, ’cause the chances of stepping in human crap is high. City leaders are ADMITTING that. It’s getting so bad that they’re launching a “Poop Patrol” team to clean up human crap. F’real.

In about a month, a team of five Public Works staffers will begin patrolling the alleys around Polk Street and other hot spots in a vehicle equipped with a steam cleaner.

They’ll begin their shifts in the afternoon, as the city starts losing its sheen from overnight cleaning. The Poop Patrol’s mission? To spot and clean piles of feces before anybody complains about them.

I repeat– these people will be patrolling the streets, looking for human crap. Clearly, it’s needed. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, people called to report human crap approximately 14,597 times since January 1st.

For the record, that’s about 65 calls regarding sidewalk poop every day. And it’s 2,427 more calls on the stinky subject than were made in the same time period last year.

The Poop Patrol idea sprung from conversations between Nuru and Mayor London Breed, both of whom have expressed disgust with the filthy conditions of our sidewalks.

Apparently, the city also allotted $1.05 million to install more public Pit Stop toilets.

I guess it’s good they’re doing…something. It’s just sad that it has come to this– Poop Patrol.