
So over the weekend, Democrat Leslie Cockburn, who’s running against Republican Denver Riggleman in the House race for Virginia’s 5th Congressional District, accused Denver of being into Bigfoot porn.
My opponent Denver Riggleman, running mate of Corey Stewart, was caught on camera campaigning with a white supremacist. Now he has been exposed as a devotee of Bigfoot erotica. This is not what we need on Capitol Hill. pic.twitter.com/0eBvxFd6sG
— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) July 29, 2018
From my opponent Denver Riggleman’s Bigfoot erotica collection. pic.twitter.com/ELe0TWJh21
— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) July 29, 2018
Leslie Cockburn. She did that. *insert immature jokes about how her last name matches this story far too perfectly here*
Because of that, “Bigfoot” was trending on Twitter. I was excited when I first saw it trending, because I’m a closet Bigfoot fan. (Obviously, not in the same way as Denver Riggleman.) My dad and I have always joked about Bigfoot’s possible existence and used to watch the super cheesy shows– like “Finding Bigfoot”– on a regular basis. It always drove my mother NUTS, which only motivated us to like it even MORE.
One time, we went on an informal “Bigfoot” hunt in New Hampshire with my sister and two cousins. We were filming a dumb spoof, but the joke was on me, because my dad actually had my uncle dress up in a Ghillie suit and it TOTALLY spooked me. I thought there was a sasquatch in the woods, and it’s all on tape.
If I ever ran for something, that would definitely be my “scandalous” tape– me freaking out in the middle of the New Hampshire woods because I thought a Bigfoot was stalking me.
I WILL say that I made a trailer and video out of the entire thing, and it’s deep within the bowels (ew) of YouTube. If you can find it, you deserve to see it, but I am NOT handing that one out. 😉
Here’s an embarrassing screenshot though.
SO ANYWAY. When I saw “Bigfoot” trending, I thought it was going to be something funny or interesting. Instead, I got one candidate accusing another candidate of being into Bigfoot erotica.
ALL THAT BEING SAID. For reasons I have not yet figured out, Pizza Hut– of all places– decided to jump in on the fun.
Did someone say #BigFoot? Throwback to one of our favorite guilty pleasures. pic.twitter.com/Sarlphhh2N
— Pizza Hut (@pizzahut) July 30, 2018
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO.
Social media manager @pizzahut RN. pic.twitter.com/gHnNcw2C7B
— b_sonka (@b_sonka) July 30, 2018
No. No. Don't do this. It won't make anyone hungry, I swear.
— Chris Baskind 🚲 (@chrisbaskind) July 30, 2018
LMAO NO PIZZA HUT NO
— 🙃Caleb😎 (@ca_kulich) July 30, 2018
"Dear Pizza Forum, I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this…" #Bigfoot https://t.co/6AGDZ212o3
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) July 30, 2018
oh my… either someone didn't realize why this was trending or pizza hut twitter is very brave..
— Jeremy Sterling (@KansasJeremy) July 30, 2018
😎
— Pizza Hut (@pizzahut) July 30, 2018
I guess that answers that…
but seriously make the coupon code "Hot4Bigfoot"
— Jeremy Sterling (@KansasJeremy) July 30, 2018
I don’t know if I’m amused, horrified or both.
h/t Twitchy