A Father’s Day Message To All The Dads Out There: You Are Needed.

The world is such a different place than it was 20 years ago. Sure– there’s nothing new under the sun. History repeats itself. Human behavior doesn’t change, but there’s a reason we look longingly into the past and– in most cases– adoringly into our childhood years.

Whether we realize it or not, the culture of the decade we were raised in has a significant impact on our lives.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that today. It’s Father’s Day, after all. I’m really close to my dad and was looking through some old pictures of the two of us together. There aren’t a ton, because the man HATES pictures. But the entire moment got me thinking: Will girls who are kids NOW look up to their fathers the same way I look to mine, or will the culture of man-hating directly affect their relationships?

Think about it. Over the past few years, men have been under attack. Society is desperately trying to diminish the role of fathers in our culture. Women are constantly told that “they don’t need no man.” They’re told that men want to control us. Use us. Objectify us. They tell us that men see themselves as superior beings. They tell us “real” men get pedicures and wear RompHims. What’s worse, society is teaching young women to view fathers as disposable figures when it comes to child-rearing.

That’s out of order.

Don’t get me wrong. Life happens, but this post isn’t about moms and their abilities as individuals. We already know moms are awesome. This is about the left’s constant attempt to diminish the importance of fathers in society. I’m convinced that’s HALF of the reason we have so many messed up, mentally ill young folks in the world.

It all comes back to the absence of strong father figures.

I’ll say it. I wouldn’t be who I am today or WHERE I am today without my father, and I don’t say that lightly. He’s an old school good man. I could go on and on about the stereotypical attributes I admire about him (he’s funny, wise, self-deprecating, kind, etc.) but I want to briefly talk about his MAN qualities. As in, the uniquely “manly” attributes I noticed growing up that had a profound impact on my life.

One thing I’ve always loved about my dad: His steadiness. That man CANNOT be moved. We dealt with a lot when I was a kid. My youngest sister had a lot of medical issues. I spent a great deal of time listening for ambulance sirens outside our front door. It was chaotic and scary, but when I looked to my dad? He was calm. He never broke down. He never looked frazzled. He was an anchor. He was always steady.

That goes a long way in young girls brimming with emotion. He’s still that steady figure for me, to this day. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing. He’s there with a steadiness and practicality.

Another thing I noticed about my dad when I was a child? He was (and remains) a man of his word. He never sugar-coated. He ALWAYS told me the truth but in love. If I wasn’t good at something, he wouldn’t shower me with praise anyway. He was the opposite of the participation trophy culture. (My mom too.) Because of that, when he says I’m good at something or gives me a compliment, it MEANS something to me. And when he tells me something I don’t want to hear? I listen, because I know it MEANS something. His words carry weight.

It’s not something a lot of us are used to, living in a millennial culture. “I didn’t mean it” is basically our catchphrase.

The “man of his word” thing extends far beyond that. When my dad tells someone he’s going to do something, he does it. He’s reliable. He’s the furthest thing from wishy-washy.  He’s faithful to his word, ALWAYS. Seeing that as a child went a longggggg way. (Especially when it came to discipline. There was NO weaseling my way out of his 10 minute time-outs, which felt like an ETERNITY might I add.)

Another thing I admire about my dad? He has always made me feel like I’m capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. I’m not just talking career-wise. Life-wise. I remember when I first started driving a car in high school. My dad wanted to make sure that I knew how to do the basics. He taught me how to check my oil and check my tire pressure (and fill up if needed). Earlier today, he brought me to Harbor Freight, because he’s determined to teach me how to change the tires on my rigs by myself.

Still not thrilled, but OOOOOK Dad.

My entire life is full of those kinds of interactions. Sometimes it gets annoying. Why can’t he just do it for me? But looking back, I’m appreciative and understand exactly why he has always put an emphasis on me trying. He wants his girls to know how to do things. He wants us to know that we are capable. Of course, my dad still does the “man things” for us when we ask, but he’s always made a point to make sure that we knew how to do it, at least to some extent.

It sounds cheesy, but that’s incredibly empowering for a young woman.

I could go on and on, but one of the biggest takeaways from my father? He’s always pointed me and my sisters to Jesus. He’s always told us that we are ALREADY one whole person. We don’t “need” a man to make us feel worthwhile or complete. God gives us worth. It’s what HE says about us that matters– not the world.

My dad is a man of godly wisdom, integrity and honor. Those are the attributes I want MY kids to see in their father one day.

What can I say? He raised the bar pretty high.

I know there are so many of you who have similar stories about YOUR dads, and I’d love to hear them. We need to combat the man-hating culture and saturate the world– whether through social media or whatever– with POSITIVE stories about the roles of GOOD fathers and the impacts they’ve had on us.

I’ll leave with this note: Fathers– you ARE important. You ARE needed. Don’t let society wear you down. You play such a huge role in the lives of your children. You can shape your sons to be men of honor and your daughters to be women of dignity.

I’m not a feminist, because my father taught me that I didn’t need to be. I’m not a victim, and I know my worth, all because of my dad.