ABC News Puts Out A New Promo… And The Desperation Is OH So Obvious

This, my friends, is what desperation looks like:

It seems like just another “relatable” ad, right?

“Roseanne” star John Goodman narrates:

“Your mom said, ‘Comb your hair.’ Your dad told you, ‘Smarten up.’ Your dog is judging you right now, and your best friend just called you crazy. We all need someone who will pull no punches and give it to us straight.”

“Now imagine getting your news like that. No bull, no spin. Just give it to me straight. Straightforward news. Straight to the heart of the story. ABC News. Straightforward.”

HAHAHA… oooooh honey. There’s so much to unpack here.

Take it away, Fox:

The ad features an adorable dog and an assortment of people of different ages, genders and ethnicities. One longtime media executive said it’s a clear attempt to capitalize on the success of “Roseanne,” pointing out that ABC has done similar things with other programming at peak popularity.

NEWSFLASH: The reason “Roseanne” is successful is the EXACT SAME REASON ABC News is not.

Awkward.

Media Research Center Vice President Dan Gainor said it’s the kind of promo that news outlets create when they are desperate not to promote their anchors, adding, “Who can blame them when they employ long-term Democrat operative George Stephanopoulos as their chief anchor and anchor of both ‘Good Morning America’ and ‘This Week?’”

HAHAHHA. So basically, they tried to make you forget that liberal crony Stephanopoulosis their main man…because sweet lil’ ol’ “Dan” told you to trust them.

GOOD ONE, ABC.

Stephanopoulos is a former top aide to President Bill Clinton and a close friend of Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.

The ad is in stark contrast with an early 1990s campaign that featured iconic anchors Peter Jennings, Diane Sawyer, David Brinkley and Sam Donaldson.

Yeah… because people liked them.

The managing editor of NewsBusters, Curtis Houck, said “it’s a little late” for ABC to tout straightforward news.

YA DON’T SAY.

“Whether it’s the violence in Gaza right now or going back years ago to ‘World News Tonight’ almost ignoring the 2014 midterm elections altogether, ABC is not any less worse than CBS or NBC in their inability to give it to us straight,” Houck said.

Some critics took to Twitter to declare that ABC must be attempting to reach conservative viewers by using Goodman. His most recent credit is as blue-collar husband and father Dan Conner in the network’s revival of the sitcom “Roseanne,” which features Roseanne Barr as the pro-Trump main character Roseanne Conner, Dan’s wife.

If they think we’re that stupid… then…

Nevermind.

They totally think we’re that stupid.

But no, I don’t think Conservatives will forget what they’ve been up to as of late…

ABC News has been under fire on several fronts of late. These include “View” co-host Joy Behar’s having to apologize after mocking Vice President Mike Pence’s Christian faith.

Additionally, ABC News took some flak for an interview with former FBI Director James Comey that was “aggressively edited,” and it demoted its chief investigative correspondent, Brian Ross, after he botched an “exclusive” report on Donald Trump and Russia. Ross was reassigned to ABC News’ outside production house, Lincoln Square Productions, after a four-week, unpaid suspension for the gaffe.

Stop trying to make “straightforward” happen, ABC.

It’s not going to happen.