Thanks CDC! I’ll Never Be Able To Look At Muffins The Same Way Again

We need to talk about muffins. 1.) They are delicious. 2.) Pumpkin butterscotch muffins are one of my all time favorites. 3.) I’m also a big fan of chocolate chip banana muffins and peanut butter muffins. Alright. I’ve basically never met a muffin I didn’t like. While we’re on the subject, I’d just like to say that I think it’s highly offensive to dismiss muffins as “naked cupcakes.” They are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BAKED GOOD and should never be compared. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Cash me ousside. I don’t play when it comes to muffins.

Now that we’ve established my unending love of all things muffin related, you’ll understand why I have such a huge beef with the CDC right now. They’re compromising my love! Look what they did to this precious, innocent muffin!

Ticks can be the size of a poppy seed. Can you spot all 5 ticks in this photo? Learn how to prevent tick bites. https://t.co/ATtrY7YFoS pic.twitter.com/gBm4tw2qmf

— CDC (@CDCgov) May 4, 2018

That’s right. Some of those dots are TICKS ON THE MUFFIN. (Something else you should know about me…I LOATHE TICKS. I tried to go camping with my dad once, and within 30 minutes I was covered in ticks and cried until someone brought me home. I showered for 45 minutes to make sure I was tick free. Also, a tick almost killed my dog once, so I want them all to die. BURN THEM TO THE GROUND.)

Back to the muffin/tick situation. Look at this.

I am totally horrified right now. Thanks for ruining my life, CDC.

thanks to the cdc for ensuring i'll never again enjoy a poppy seed muffin https://t.co/IrPMyuOMSr

— Jessica Huseman (@JessicaHuseman) May 4, 2018

CDC has found a covert way to fight obesity by making us doubt muffins https://t.co/Mfuh3dN0Of

— Dave Clark (@DaveClark_AFP) May 4, 2018

thanks for straight-up ruining poppyseed bagels for me, CDC https://t.co/nIv5iLp2Wk

— Sammy Nickalls 🧚‍♀️ (@sammynickalls) May 4, 2018

No, and I'm never eating a poppyseed muffin again.

— Peggy Li (@_peggyli) May 5, 2018

Who hurt you so badly to make you be like this?

— Michael Ruminer (@michaelruminer) May 5, 2018

Thanks for ruining lemon poppyseed muffins for everyone, guys.

— Electric Maenad (@ElectricMaenad) May 5, 2018

UPSET I AM UPSET

— Jessi Sheron (@JessiSheron) May 5, 2018

I will never forgive you for this.

— Jessica A. Hughes (@J__A__Hughes) May 5, 2018

Shoutout to the CDC for ruining my favorite muffin flavor forever.

— Meghan Cardwell (@OceansOfBliss) May 5, 2018

Next time, put the nasty bugs on cantaloupe or tofu or pickled chicken feet or something. GAWD.

h/t Twitchy