Thanks Ashley Judd! Feminist Boasts Of Her Decision To Flaunt Her Period Stained Pants At Work
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April 19, 2018Annnnnnnnd feminism continues to trigger my gag reflexes.
Some chick wrote what I can only assume she believes to be an “empowering” piece, in which she details her decision to wear her period stained pants around all day on purpose. She began her piece by quoting the Queen of Hags, Ashley Judd, who BY THE WAY turns half of 100 today.
I am a feminist and have been very engaged in activities that further the feminist cause. I would like to start by quoting a few lines from Ashley Judd’s speech at the Women’s March in Washington DC last year, where she recited a poem of a nineteen-year old girl from Tennessee. She said, “I am nasty like my bloodstains on my bed sheets. We don’t actually choose if and when to have our periods. Believe me if we could some of us would. We do not like throwing away our favorite pairs of underpants. Tell me, why are pads and tampons still taxed when Viagra is not? Is your erection really more than protecting the sacred messy part of my womanhood? Is the bloodstain on my jeans more embarrassing than the thinning of your hair?”
I’m rolling my eyes so hard, they’re about to fall out of my face.
Her entire piece is really theatrical. Have you noticed that? For some reason, feminists treat periods as a type of performance art. They can’t just say, “I got my period and accidentally stained my pants.” Oh noooo. That doesn’t sound inspirational! This is so much better.
When I suddenly realized that I had gushed out blood more than my sanitary pad could handle on a fine day at work, I rushed to the loo. And lo and behold, I had stained. So, naturally, I wet the toilet paper and starting wiping the stain as hard as I could. It helped but I couldn’t get it off entirely. I looked in the mirror and realized that the blood stain was easy to make out. But then, I thought something.
“Lo and behold, I had stained.” Am I in a theater right now? Who bought these tickets? Who talks like this IRL?
On a usual day, I would borrow a stole that I would tie around or keep pulling my shirt down to hide the stain. But today, I was in no mood of doing what everyone does. Rather, I thought of walking out of the loo after I dry the stain and let it show.
WOW SO BRAVE SO COURAGEOUS.
Thoughts are free but actions, heavy.
See what she did there? Got some bleeding parallels. She’s a serious #artist like that.
When I actually went out, I could feel my face getting red and the journey from the loo to my seat seemed the longest ever. I was conscious of other people checking my butt. And then, I was called out by a colleague-friend and as I looked back, I know what she had to say. So, instead of walking to her, I prompted, ‘I know’, turned back and reached my seat.
WOW SO EMPOWERING. I’m getting chills.
Long story short(er), she had kind co-workers alert her of her period stain, and instead of thanking them for looking out for her, she was all, “I am a nasty woman and won’t cover it.”
She actually said that.
By the time I had to walk back to the car, the stain had dried even more, hence getting even less visible. Also, the social rebel in me gave me more confidence now than it did before and I was ready to stare back at anyone whom I would suspect of uncannily noticing my stain. However, no one did.
She was ready to UNLEASH her feminist death stare. Don’t you DARE notice her obvious stain! Freaking sexist scum.
She ends her little story by expressing how proud she is of herself. She considered that entire ordeal a “little victory.” She felt like a bada$$ rebel. For walking around. With a period stain.
I was proud of myself when at the end of the day I realized I had pulled through the day. Although, I understand that being in an office with a period stain and being on the road, traveling or doing any other thing may be completely different things. Still, my little victory smelled of rebellion for a just cause and I really hope that one day, period stains don’t need any special mention (or stare).
None of this is brave. It’s lazy and unhygienic and ridiculous.
I have a question. Does this feminist attitude apply to all stains? If I eat a burrito at Chipotle and drop a tub of guac and salsa all over my shirt, do I just leave it and get mad at people for staring? If I tear into a tub of ice cream and get some fudge on my face, do I just let it dry and move on with my day? If I sit in a piece of melted chocolate and it stains my crotchular area, do I just leave it there and get offended when people are stare at my crotch? Is that how I feminist?
I’m really looking forward to this woman’s next empowering piece on leaving explosive diarrhea stains AS IS in the workplace!
