Neighborhood Bans Great Danes And Reminds Me Of Why I Can’t Live In Neighborhoods

If y’all have been here a while, you know that I am the Chick with the amount of dogs that makes me a borderline dog hoarder.  Once you have four dogs, it’s hard to go back to just one or two dogs.  It’s kind of like when you have three children.   You think to yourself, “well, that third one needs a playmate, hon, and it’s good to have an even number for when we go to Kings Island and whatnot, so honestly – we might as well just go for six at this point.”

Currently, we have three Great Danes and a boxer.  Our fawn Great Dane, Jebby, passed away last Thanksgiving, and he left behind his elderly brindle brother, Zeke, his surly-old-boxer sister Tess Larue and his younger black Dane sister, Astrid (a somewhat happy-psychotic rescue).  The house felt empty with just three.  So we adopted our Cash.  Named after Johnny, because of course.

Seriously – how can you say no to this face?

And it’s a safe bet that we’ll always have four or more dogs from here on out.  There’s no turning back (you know, for when we go to Kings Island and need to put the dogs on coasters).

We live out in the country, on almost-eight-acres, and the dogs have plenty of room to run, play, chase a flock of chickens, but if we didn’t, we’d still have Danes (with Tess the surly boxer to keep them in check).  Well – unless we lived in McConnell’s Trace in Lexington, Kentucky, that is:

Homeowners in McConnell’s Trace were sent letters by the neighborhood developer detailing a change in an existing dog restriction, which previously referred only to unspecified “aggressive breeds,” said Josh McCurn, president of the area’s neighborhood association. Now German shepherds, St. Bernards and chows are among the list of 11 dog breeds restricted from the neighborhood.

Apparently, “the homeowner’s association did not have a vote on the restrictions and did not “write the language.”

But they’re RESTRICTING DOG BREEDS here, y’all.  And not just a few.  ELEVEN.  Because they’re like super-duper-mean and bitey and scary and stuff:

• German Shepherds
• Rottweilers
• Mastiffs
• Doberman Pinschers
• Pit Bulls (including American Staffordshire Terriers, American Pit Bull Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers and “any dogs containing characteristics of these breeds”)
• Huskies
• Alaskan Malamutes
• Chows
• Great Danes
• St. Bernards
• Akitas

First off, that list is wack.

Second, as a Chick who HAS Great Danes, I find it hilarious, because my Danes are big babies (but for all you jackwads that want to invade my home, they’re trained killers, mmm hmmm).  We fostered my stepson’s and his girlfriend’s German Shepherd for ten months, and Charlie was a big ol’ baby, too.  In fact, that fuzzy wussboy would practically pee himself during thunderstorms.  True story.  As for pitbulls – who get one of the worst raps EVER –  I fostered them in another life.  I had one for a few months who will forever have a place in my heart – her name was Daisy.  She was a former fighting dog.  That precious angel was treated like absolute garbage by the humans who she trusted to take care of her, and by the time she was put in my home, it took her about three weeks for her to trust me enough to pet her.  She finally did, though.  And I eventually got her to trust me enough to love her.  What a miraculous blessing that was.  Dogs are forgiving creatures – definitely more quick to forgive than humans.  And Daisy the pitbull showed me that it’s not the breed that sucks – more so the humans who abuse that breed.

So seriously, McConnell’s Trace.  What gives here?

All dogs can be jerks and ALL dogs can be dangerous if trained to be so, and definitely they’ll be dangerous if provoked.  If they’re going to ban dogs that are aggressive, perhaps they should consider banning all dogs that bite, including chihuahuas and bulldogs and cocker spaniels?  And, well, EVERY OTHER BREED ON THE LIST.

Or maybe they should just ban crappy owners from living here?