Well, Dangit – I Missed The Memo That We’re Supposed To Make Easter Skanky Again

Did I miss something?  Because in addition to Christmas and Valentines and St Patty’s, Easter is getting totally hot now, too.  You know, out in social-media land.

That’s right.  We’re supposed to skank it up on Easter now, y’all.  Did you miss that?  If you did, I’ll give you a recap.  Because I’m a giver like that.

Take Aubrey O’Day, for example.  She’s the chick who used to look like an actual chick who allegedly slept with Donald Trump Jr. and also allegedly was in some girl band and now looks like every other reality chick out there in Reality Land.  Because WOW THESE CHICKS HAVE ZERO ORIGINALITY (well, except for the eggs-in-a-heart-on-what-appears-to-be-a-gross-yellow-blanket down there in the picture – I’m sure her parents are proud of that, by the way):

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhCXfqCAdHu/?taken-by=aubreyoday

Nothing says Christ died for our sins like an a$$ in the air with a cotton ball in it, huh?

Mmmkay.

But listen – some people will defend this next picture and tell me that it’s not skanky.   They’ll say, “but DAAAAAISY – this one is in good taste, because she has a sort of bathing suit-looking thing on and it’s sequined and there’s no cotton ball coming out of her a$$ and it’s Easter-y and represents family and stuff:”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhAMDjclQiZ/?taken-by=kimkardashian

Again.  I’m at a loss, because I didn’t get the memo.

But yeah – that was Kim K’s Easter post, y’all.  And listen – you can defend it all you want.  But I think it’s skanky.  And stupid.  And I think you’re contributing to the demise of Western civilization if you support this family financially in any way, frankly.  I still love some of you – I mean, I know and love young women in my life who like every friggin post on this chick’s Instagram.  They think her family is the “bomb.”  There are twenty-somethings out there who think these women are Actual Role Models.  This is perplexing to me, especially when there are other reality options to idolize, if that’s what you’re seeking (you’re welcome):

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhDPGjJANvb/?taken-by=legitsadierob

Just so we’re clear, though, Aubrey O’Day has almost 900,000 followers on Instagram now and counting, and a lot of us just found out about her a few weeks ago, amirite?  Kim Kardashian has 109 MILLION slobbering fans who hang on her every word and image. Her little sister Kylie Jenner has 106 million.

Sadie Robertson up there?  3 million.  I’m guessing it’s because she wears her clothes and actually knows what Easter is about?  (But you’re right, libs.  We don’t have a culture problem at all.)

And y’all – BRACE YOURSELVES for Mother’s Day.  It’s coming up!  And you know what that means in this day and age (sun’s out, skaaanks out!).