Kim Kardashian Offers ‘Tips’ On How To Be Successful, And The Jokes Write Themselves

Just because you’re loaded doesn’t mean you have any sort of wisdom. Someone please alert Kim Kardashian of that inconvenient truth.

Kim K recently wrote a blog post titled, “My 7 Steps for Success.” Obviously, you’re gonna wanna read it. I mean, she’s a millionaire because she’s SUPER smart and SUPER business savvy! (HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. She’s rich and famous because she was BFFs with Paris Hilton. Then she had a sex tape leak out. But suuuuure. Let’s pretend she did something AMAZING and INSPIRATIONAL to get to the place she is today.)

She began by saying: ‘While there’s no single recipe for success, I found that sticking to these principles helped me build my businesses and achieve my dreams.

‘There are NO excuses for being late, not showing up or not getting your work done.

‘Everyone has other things going on, so if you commit to something, you need to be on time and respectful.’

She also stressed the importance of liking what you do.

‘If you find something you’re really passionate about, figure out a way to make that your job. You’ll work harder if your heart and soul is in your career,’ noted the makeup mogul.

And she also touched on being confident.

‘Whether it’s posting on my own social channels or telling my perspective on our show, I like to be confident in my own voice,’ said Kim.

She added, “By taking time for yourself, you’ll find inspiration in unexpected places and you won’t exhaust yourself. If you’re too burnt out on work, you’ll half-ass things.”

And there you have it! Kim K’s secret to success.

Now, we all know her “tips” are BS. That’s not why she’s rich and famous. Here’s what her tips really should’ve looked like:

1.) Be a skank.
2.) Make a sex tape.
3.) Get yourself a mother who will basically encourage you to be as skanky as possible.
4.) Get a fake butt.
5.) Oil it up.
6.) Post naked pictures on Instagram at least 3 times a week.
7.) Master the art of vocal fry and marry a rapper as shallow as you are.

Voila! Success. Best of luck, plebs!

h/t Daily Mail