This Is An Actual Headline.

Look at this, you guys.  This is a real headline.

Obviously, I clicked.

According to the sourcelink, an Italian model who currently lives in LA (Paola Saulino) had promised to give favors of an oral and sexual nature to every man who voted “No” on a  referendum last year asking voters whether or not they approved of amending the Italian constitution to reform the powers of Parliament.  She planned a “pompatour” in various cities and in fact, according to this, had already started to make good on her promise with at least 400 men, leading her to complain of “a jaw ache.”

I’m not making this up.

And that kinda sucked for her (no pun intended), because if she was to keep her original promise, she would’ve needed to perform oral sex on 18 million 999 thousand 600 more dudes.

After the 400 dudes, though, and the ensuing jaw pain, she decided 18 million plus dudes was probably too lofty a goal, and moved the goal posts to a cool one million.

But as you saw from the amazing headline above, Paola’s dream of orally pleasuring a million dudes has been postponed, after she got attacked by a friend’s dog.  She sustained injuries to her mouth and nose, and says doctors have advised her to postpone her tour while she heals.

She told The Sun Online: “Pompatour is still going. I mean pompatour actually is my life-style. It’s my way to be free.

“The doctor suggested me to not do big movements with my mouth for several months. Reducing physical activity of my face helps it heal better, to cure the scar on the inside.

“After all I’ve learnt from this experience, I decided that my b*** j*** can wait for now, and my decision is to care of my health and heal my face.”

Priorities.

It could be another six months before she’s able to resume her so-called “lifestyle.”

Anyway, my point is that was a real headline about a real woman who exists in reality.

What a time to be alive.