Gywneth Paltrow’s Guide To Dealing With Workplace Sexism Is ABSURD.

OH THANK GOD.  Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop website has created a handy guide on how to Woman.  Because as you all well know, Gwyneth is the authority on everything from vagina rocks to vagina steaming, so if you have a vagina, you can count on Gwyneth to tell you everything you need to know about being a vagina owner.

The point of the Goop guide is to help women deal with workplace sexism, which sounds like a reasonable thing until you realize that it’s mostly just a dictionary of stupid terms like “womenemy” (a woman who undermines other women) and “bropropriator” (a guy who takes credit for a woman’s work.) It’s a Q&A with Jessica Bennett, an American journalist and author of Feminist Fight Club (and BFF of Gwyneth’s, obvs.)

The guide teaches really amazingly helpful skills like how to deal with a manterrupter.  You wanna know how?  There are THREE solutions, you guys.  The first is that you could simply keep talking to see if they shut up, and the second is that you can lean into the table to look more assertive.  If those don’t work, you could say, “You’re butting in and you need to stop!”

HOW IN THE WORLD could women ever figure this out without Gwyneth’s expertise, I ask you?  HOW?

When faced with a womenemy, Gwyneth’s site suggests that you should remind her that you have a joint interest in fighting the patriarchy.

THIS IS FOR REAL, you guys.

Stars.  They’re just like us.