This Is An Actual WaPo Headline, You Guys. FOR REAL.

I was browsing my news feed on Facebook earlier, and came across an Actual Washington Post Headline which read as follows:

For real.  That’s a real headline from a prominent newspaper.

The article is basically the longest analysis ever of Iggy Azalea’s appropriation of black culture because of her use of African American English (or ebonics), and I’m a) amazed that I read the whole thing and b) amazed that someone took this kind of time to analyze something as stupid as Iggy Azalea’s blaccent.

For those of you who are wondering, “Who in the holy hell is Iggy Azalea?” here’s a video of one of her biggest hip hop hits:

[iframe id=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/O-zpOMYRi0w” align=”center” maxwidth=”450″]

When I first heard that song, I – like most people – imagined a black woman singing it. It was actually Daisy who told me one day that Iggy was a blond Australian chick, and I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw a photo of her, and then later heard her “real” voice:

[iframe id=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/AMh5f8xRLRE” align=”center” maxwidth=”450″]

What I didn’t realize is that Iggy Azalea’s blaccent, according to the forever-long WaPo analysis, has been the subject of hot debate for some time, and according to the same analysis, is the reason for her downfall. I didn’t even realize she HAD a downfall, but apparently she has.

Other music/hip hop artists/culture critics were outraged about Iggy’s culture appropriation, because as the sourcelink suggests, “dialect, the shape of one’s vowels and rhythms of one’s speech, is a far more intimate marker of identity” than white artists simply choosing to perform hip hop songs. Singer Jill Scott said, “It sounds like a big bite to me – the tone of voice.” A Rutgers professor questioned, “Why is her mimicry of sonic Blackness okay?” Rapper Jean Grae said Iggy’s voice amounted to “verbal blackface.”

So according to WaPo, legit speech and linguistics experts have spent hours studying Iggy’s blaccent and use of ebonics, and have determined that she’s pretty awesome at it. Remarkably so, even.

Side note: I completely reject the idea that AAE/ebonics is a language or dialect with any legitimacy, and for this reason I’m basically a huge racist jerk in the eyes of speech and linguistics professors who insist that it’s something to be appreciated and even taught. Fine. I’m called a racist simply for being white these days, so it’s not an insult I ever take seriously.

Anyway, Iggy surprises language experts because her blaccent is so spot on and her songs, “reflect a far deeper, more sophisticated understanding of how black rappers speak.”

And apparently, this is a very very bad thing to many people. I find this hilarious.

When called out, Iggy has said, “I don’t think the voice makes me fake; it makes me an artist. Voice is my medium. I should have creative rein to do whatever the [heck] I want with it.”

And further, she said, “If you’re mad about it, and you’re a black person, then start a rap career and give it a go, too. I’m not taking anyone’s spot, so make yourself a mixtape. Or maybe if you’re black, start singing like a country singer and be a white person. I don’t know. Why is it such a big deal?”

I gotta say, I kinda agree with her.

But this is what our culture is all about now – finding unbelievably pointless things to be outraged at and offended by.

One of the linguists who studied Iggy’s music said that just because Iggy’s representation of AAE is accurate, that doesn’t mean she gets a pass for culture appropriation. She said, “Maybe you could say she’s being respectful of the dialect, but she’s doing this without any kind of critical reflection. The way that she’s taken this language and this culture wholesale and used it to fuel her fame and fortune is disrespectful.”

And to that I say, WTF.

Iggy has no responsibility to “critically reflect” on anything. She has every right to do whatever she wants with her voice and use her voice in whatever manner she chooses, without some “critical reflection” requirement. A fellow rapper actually scolded Iggy for not saying anything about the Ferguson protests. As if Iggy, simply by virtue of being a hip hop artist, had some sort of obligation to comment on them.

The sourcelink suggests that a Twitter squabble that Iggy had with Q-Tip marked the end of her career. He said to her, “[H]iphop is fun it’s vile it’s dance it’s traditional it’s light hearted but 1 thing it can never detach itself from is being a SOCIO-Political movement.” And she replied:

Her arguments sound reasonable to me, but her career has never recovered from that spat, apparently. I’m guessing that has more to do with a lack of catchy tunes than it does all of this stupid culture appropriation nonsense, but that’s just me. I mean, I haven’t heard these same complaints about Macklemore, who uses the same blaccent. The people outraged about Iggy are probably not at all annoyed by Hillary Clinton adopting a southern drawl when she wants to pander. There is simply no rhyme or reason to the outrage. The rules are simply made up as we go, which is why I refuse to take any of it seriously.

But I ain’t even mad, bruh. Iggy crazy fo sho. Who you finna try?