These Are, Quite Possibly, The UGLIEST Wedding Dresses EVER!

I’m getting married in a few months (WHOO!) and as part of my wedding planning I’ve been on the lookout for That Perfect Dress. Luckily, I’ve been able to narrow down my choices to a few that I really like. And – believe me – NONE of these are on my narrowed-down list. Absolutely not.

BEHOLD the ugly –

Yup. That’s a dress make of cake and icing. I guess wearing the cake is supposed to cut down on costs? But how do you sit down?

Speaking of not sitting down the entire day –

I don’t even know WHAT the crap is going on here. Porn star chic? I can’t even –

Then there’s the dress made entirely of condoms (I guess they’re prepared for the honeymoon) –

It took me a minute to figure out what the heck was going on here. But those are diapers. Yeah… I don’t get it either –

There’s also the requisite obsession with vaginas. Which is sad, because these dresses would be nice without the big pink blobby monstrosity hanging off the front like that –

Of course, there has to be a tampon-shaped dress (I’m almost surprised there wasn’t a dress made of tampons. NOTE TO THE INTERNET: That was NOT an invitation to make one of those) –

And then these are just WEIRD –

(*sings “Poor Unfortunate Soul”*)

No. Not now. Not ever.

Is the sheep the groom or the best man? Or the ring-bearer?

This one’s just made of trash they found on the beach (at least, I think that’s what’s going on here) –

Yeah – no. Not wearing any of those. Ever.

(h/t Daily Mail)