If You Go To Ohio State U And Want To Engage In Sexual Activity, Prepare To Enter Into A Contractual Agreement…

Welcome to 2014, androids.

After all the hoopla surrounding a four-year investigation of "gender bias crimes," Ohio State University is now the template for politically-correct, robotic sex-havers.

Mock wrote about an incident back in January where a chick got so drunk, so she didn't really remember consenting to having her partner-for-the-night giving her oral sex in the middle of a street full of bystanders – with cameras and whatnot.  That was somewhat unfortunate for her, so the next day, she said that the guy who appeared to be giving her great pleasure (at least on the video I saw) was her "attacker."

Weird how that works when you sober up.

Anywho, there are some new rules at Ohio State University now.  If you're a student who wants to engage in sexual activity there, listen up, comrade coeds:

• Effective consent can be given by words or actions so long as the words or actions create a mutual understanding between both parties regarding the conditions of the sexual activity–ask, "do both of us understand and agree regarding the who, what, where, when, why, and how this sexual activity will take place?"

Hans Bader, a senior attorney at the Competitive Enterprise Institute and former attorney, adds, "you and your partner now apparently have to agree on the reason WHY you are making out or having sex.  It’s not enough to agree to DO it, you have to agree on WHY: there has to be agreement “regarding the who, what, where, when, why, and how this sexual activity will take place.”

You have to agree on the reason WHY you're MAKING OUT, even.  Kissing with tongue and/or saliva, folks.   And it's not clear on HOW you're going to do this – If you don't, then one of you – more than likely the dude here – may get in big trouble for something like rape.  Did you get that?  

It's the "why" that baffles me the most.  Isn't it obvious why everyone engages in sexual activity, no matter what level it is?  Am I missing something here?

And liberals think that conservatives  are uptight about sex.  I'll let you laugh maniacally about that stereotype for a minute and catch your breath so you can rejoin me.

Now then.

Meanwhile, liberals claim to be on the sexually liberated side of the aisle.  The ones who claim to be all freeeeeeee and honest and EMPOWERED about their sexuality.  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

They're the ones who are totally OK with their womenfolk and daughters basing their value solely on their ladyparts and by golly, they should be able to express themselves in whatever skanky outfit they choose and drink themselves silly with no accountability.  In fact, universities should sink tons of money into doing years-long studies and creating task forces and doing lengthy reports so that they can make sure everyone else has to sign CONTRACTS to say WHY they all want to have sex with one another, too.    

Because liberals.

It's one thing to take the fun out of food, lefties (kale NO), but this?    

And I thought I'd seen it all.