This Headline Reads Like Liberal Madlibs… And I Still Don’t Know WTH It Means

ALERT: this is a real headline.

It reads like a liberal parody. It’s not:

WUT?

Seriously… we’re all confused.

What does that even mean?

— Jeanne Nicholson 🔹 (@JeannesTweeting) September 1, 2018

When you win liberal buzz word bingo in one sentence.

— Paul (@Southie777) September 1, 2018

Intersectio…

BINGO!

— HerrPutinholz (@HerrMorgenholz) September 1, 2018

The agenda for today’s meeting…. pic.twitter.com/gjJxuBwymJ

— John Galt’s Cousin’s former roommate (@Zer0space1) September 1, 2018

I went ahead and read this cluster because I figured maybe the headline was misleadingly AWFUL.

One of the lessons from the storm was that women are at greater risk than men in times of crisis. To prepare for the next Katrina, advocates say, the government must provide more protection for women, including higher wages, more affordable housing and better access to health care — including contraception and abortion which are disproportionately used by cis women.

Riiiight. Because only “cis women” can GET PREGNANT. But that’s probably a bigoted thing to say… right?

Anyway, according to the article, climate change is gonna cause more natural disasters, which means we need more ways to get abortions. Or something.

When disaster strikes, pharmacies may be shut down, limiting access to contraceptives, leading to unplanned pregnancies. Likewise, hospitals may be closed, leaving pregnant people without the care they need. Finally, abortion clinics may be inaccessible, leaving those who have lost a job or home or suffered physically or emotionally as the result of a catastrophic storm without a means to terminate a pregnancy.

OMG WHAT A DISASTER.

A recent analysis from the nonpartisan Population Reference Bureau contends that post-disaster rebuilding efforts should “be responsive to women’s reproductive health needs,” and that officials should ensure “equitable access to health services, so that those most affected by a disaster are able to access the same reproductive health resources despite social and economic barriers.”

So um… we need more abortions during hurricanes. I think?

Also… natural disasters are sexist… so there’s that.

“We know that climate change worsens the cycle of poverty and vulnerability for women and girls,” Erenberg said. “As a nation, we have sought to extract as many resources from Mother Earth as technology allows, and at the same time we’ve restricted access to the resources that women and mothers need. And this has resulted in critical threats to the health and well-being of both.”

Yeeeeah. I’m just as confused as BEFORE I read the article.

Basically “ABORTIONS BECAUSE CLIMATE CHANGE.”

Bingo?