You Will Never Be Able To Look At CNN’s Banana The Same Way Again

Yes. We need to talk about CNN’s banana.

Remember how CNN released those incredibly ridiculous promos about apples and bananas and facts?

“Some people might try to tell you that it’s a banana.” #FactsFirst pic.twitter.com/LbmRKiGJe9

— CNN (@CNN) October 23, 2017

Words matter. So do the facts. #FactsFirst pic.twitter.com/xni1y7phcg

— CNN (@CNN) January 26, 2018

If you couldn’t take them seriously before, sit back and buckle up. You’ll NEVER be able to look at it them same way after this.

“Basically, it just popped.” This is what it’s like to break your penis https://t.co/rDaH2qhVP2

— CNN (@CNN) April 19, 2018

CNN clearly didn’t think that feature image through. Plus, isn’t it offensive to feminists? Why didn’t CNN consider that? This is clearly a symbol of the patriarchy, and I feel triggered. (HAHAH JK no I don’t.)

CNN always on the cutting edge of news!!😂😂😂

— Orion (@Uhtred1973) April 19, 2018

This is what you got to report on? Really?

— 🇺🇸 Watching the Watchers👩‍👧‍👦 (@Tao_Athe) April 19, 2018

Yes. Porn stars, Russia and broken man junk. This is REAL NEWZ.

Another fine article from CNN

— The Amazing Lucas (@TheAmazngLucas) April 19, 2018

I could’ve lived my whole life never seeing/reading this article and would’ve been just fine with that. Thanks

— Jeff Soble (@jeffsoble) April 19, 2018

…this could be the most interesting thing that CNN has reported on in MONTHS 😏

— Q (@osuseq) April 19, 2018

Anything to do with sex cnn is on to it

— Monty (@Monty67049684) April 19, 2018

Don’t worry. They probably tried to tie that story to Donald Trump.

Is Stormy working on this story for cnn?

— Pat Kalan (@5pat5) April 19, 2018

HAHAHAHA OMG.

is this a parody #CNN account…

— High Wide & Handsome (@umass94) April 19, 2018

Every day is a slow news day @CNN

— mike holton (@xarmynsdq) April 19, 2018

Since we’ve come this far, you should know that 1.) We don’t know *exactly* how the man broke his junk and 2.) He’s fine now. CNN says, “After four weeks of recovery, Asdourian was able to urinate on his own. After a few months, he had regained full sexual functioning…”

Remember– only facts first at CNN!

h/t Twitchy