Study: Paper Straws Could Actually Pose Greater Threat than Plastic Ones…

Well, well, well… how the turntables.

You can go ahead and file this under “Predictable AF.”

From the New York Post:

Paper straws might not be the “eco-friendly” drinking tube they’ve been promoted to be: Belgian researchers found that these so-called “green” utensils are toxic and therefore potentially worse for the environment than their much-vilified plastic counterparts, according to a new study published in the journal Food Additives & Contaminants.

“Straws made from plant-based materials, such as paper and bamboo, are often advertised as being more sustainable and eco-friendly than those made from plastic,” Thimo Groffen, Ph.D., study author and an environmental scientist at the University of Antwerp, said in a statement. “However, the presence of PFAS [poly- and perfluoroalkyl-based substances known as “forever chemicals” because they last for a long time before breaking down] in these straws means that’s not necessarily true.”

The new research comes following multiple initiatives enforced by numerous US cities, including New York, and restaurant chains to ban disposable plastic suckers comprised of polypropylene and polystyrene, which take hundreds of years to decompose and are linked to health problems from liver problems to birth defects.

To deduce this a-straw-calyptic theory, researchers analyzed the PFA concentrations of 39 brands of drinking straws, which were comprised of five materials: paper, bamboo, glass, stainless steel, and plastic.

They found that paper straws were the most PFA-filled with a whopping 90% of paper straws containing the chemicals.

Meanwhile, bamboo straws — another highly touted green alternative — clocked in second with 80%, followed by 75% of plastic straws, 40% of glass straws, and none in steel straws.

By far the most prevalent PFA was perfluorooctanoic acid, which has been been banned globally since 2020. However, this substance is still manufactured in some countries and could be present in products bought by US consumers.

Also present were trifluoroacetic acid and trifluoromethanesulfonic acid, PFAS which easily dissolve in water, meaning they could potentially leach out of straws into beverages.

It’s unclear how these substances — which have been used since the 1940s to repel water and grease in everything from cookware to carpets — ended up in the straws, although the presence of them in every brand suggests they were added on purpose as a liquid repellant.

Fortunately, low concentrations of PFAS, such as the amounts ingested from using straws, are unlikely to pose serious health risks.

However, animal studies suggest that an accumulation of these chemicals over time could cause a range of appalling side effects, including liver damage, a weakened immune system, underweight babies and even infant death.

Unfortunately, the long-term effects on humans are not yet known as the animal tests were conducted with higher levels of PFAs.

I support saving the turtles and everything, but let’s be real…

Forcing someone to drink their beverage out of an actively disintegrating cardboard tube while said drink is in a plastic cup with a plastic lid will usually be met with some groans.

Is it safe to say that you can find “proof” to support literally any argument in the history of humankind when you’re willing to look in the right places on the web? Yes. Is that going to stop me from chuckling about the fact that climate crusaders have sent people on guilt trips for utilizing one-use plastics while providing an alternative that’s even more harmful to the environment they claim to care so much about? No… I most certainly will be doing that.

Do I appreciate the environment? Absolutely. Do I feel the need to carry around a stainless-steel straw to simultaneously prove that while also avoiding adding “forever chemicals” to my coffee? Not really. I’ll just rip the lid off and drink it from my super environmentally friendly plastic cup, thank you…