Nude Yoga Is A Thing Now – And Also A Great Way To Get Pink Eye

Confession: I really like doing yoga.

There’s a mindset  among conservatives that only the crunchiest of liberals are “allowed” to do yoga. That’s not the case – I find it very relaxing, and it’s a good low-impact workout for “off days.”

I’m not the biggest fan of the whole “I’m a conservative so I ONLY eat red meat and bench press guns” mentality. We’re allowed to try new things, y’all. We’re allowed to do WHATEVER WE WANT. Liberals don’t own everything…

Anyway! There’s a line I won’t cross…. and it’s this:

Forget hot yoga and meditation – there’s a new practice that will shed more than stress and tight muscles from your body.

 

It’s naked yoga – the latest fitness trend to hit Australia.

 

Yoga instructor Rosie Rees runs nude yoga classes across the country where she teaches up to 30 women per session – and they are not afraid to bare all.

The 30-year-old, based in Perth, said the workshops are designed to inspire women of all shapes and sizes to embrace their bodies.

 

Attempting to restore your spiritual balance while naked in a room full of strangers may not seem ideal – but Rosie insists the practice is very therapeutic.

 

It’s not about doing the downward dog naked… it’s about self-acceptance, stepping out of the comfort zone and cultivating courage,’ she told Daily Mail Australia.

 

‘I’d say it’s a catalyst. Nude yoga is such a courageous thing to do but when these women leave my classes, they feel comfortable in their own skin.

Not only can getting into a naked child’s pose be a spiritual practice – Rosie said the activity helps with sleep, improves your sex life and boosts confidence.

 

‘A lot of women come back saying they had the best sleep, they feel very energized and others said they have the best sex because they are connecting to their bodies,’ she said.

Ok… I thought this was weird, and then they had to say “naked child’s pose”

REALLY FOLKS?! WE CAN’T SAY NAKED TREE POSE?! WE GOTTA MAKE IT EVEN CREEPIER?!

Anywhooo…. I too feel “energized” and “get good sleep” when I do yoga… with my clothes on. ALL OF THESE BENEFITS ARE ATTAINABLE WITHOUT POINTING YOUR NAKED BUTT AT SOMEONE’S FACE.

Seriously… sometimes when I do yoga I get this “Wow… my butt sure is close to that girl’s face” feeling… these girls are doing it naked. I don’t mean to be crass, but this looks like a pink eye extravaganza. I don’t want your butt germs near my face, thanks.

The four-hour classes are held in a dark, candle lit room and yogi enthusiasts sit around in a circle before stripping off their kimonos and sarongs.

‘It’s a very sacred space,’ Rosie said.

 

‘There are no compromising positions. It’s very gentle yoga. It’s a safe and intimate space for all women. A lot of women feel very liberated, wild and light after the class.

 

‘I wanted to create a physical practice workshop to help women learn how to love their bodies more. We’re not all tall and skinny with big breasts.

 

‘Nude yoga offers women the experience where they can actually see what real women look like – not women from magazines or media or porn.

 

’91 per cent of women hate their bodies so I wanted to get them out of their comfort zones, learn how to expose their vulnerability and accept their bodies as they are.

 

‘Most women have never seen other women naked before except in porn. Usually women’s bodies are oversexualised – nude yoga is about normalizing nudity.’

Yes, there are more pictures. No, I won’t post them here. Have at it, folks.

I guess this makes sense to some people. Trying to get super bendy while naked in front of a bunch of ladies (who let’s face it, are totally judging you) doesn’t sound all that normal to me.

Alright, nudies. Whatever floats your boat pose. (Navasana, for the sticklers.)