Netflix Has A Five Second Rule… But It’s Even Dumber Than You Think

We’ve all heard of the five-second rule.

This is not it. This is much, MUCH dumber.

According to the National Review:

Netflix has reportedly banned workers from looking at each other for more than five seconds as part of its new anti-harassment rules.

The new policy also bans the company’s film crews from asking their colleagues for their phone numbers, according to an article in the Sun.

Uhhh.

WHUT?

So like… what if you’re having a conversation with someone? Do you have to look down at your hands? Must you avert your eyes every 5 seconds, on the dot?  Nothing bothers me like someone who won’t look me in the eyes when they’re talking to me.

“Senior staff went to a harassment meeting to learn what is and isn’t appropriate,” an on-set runner told the Sun. “Looking at anyone longer than five seconds is considered creepy.”

Not being able to sustain a conversation without looking away is creepier. Just saying.

“You mustn’t ask for someone’s number unless they have given permission for it to be distributed,” the source continued. “And if you see any unwanted behaviour, report it immediately.”

I don’t even know what this means. Isn’t asking someone for their number asking for their permission to have it?

Or are you not allowed to ask someone ELSE for someone’s number? Like “Hey, I need to ask Tedd from accounting something he brought up in yesterday’s recap… You have his number, right?”

That’s a no go. You’re a CREEP.

Other new rules include: “Don’t give lingering hugs or touch anyone for a lengthy period of time,” “Don’t ask out a colleague more than once if they have said no,” “Steer clear of a colleague once they have said they are not interested in you,” and “Don’t flirt.” The rules also encourage employees to “Shout ‘Stop, don’t do that again!’ if a colleague has been inappropriate.”

Ted: Hi Miranda, can I take you out for coffee?

Miranda: That’s really nice of you, Ted, but I have plans with my boyfriend tonight.

Ted must now hide from Miranda forever. STEER CLEAR, TEDD! STEER CLEAR!

The on-set runner told the Sun that employees are already poking fun at the new rules: “It has sparked jokes, with people looking at each other, counting to five, then diverting their eyes.”

Netflix hasn’t confirmed or denied the new rules, but did release a statement to the Independent, saying: “We’re proud of the anti-harassment training we offer to our productions. We want every Netflix production to be a safe and respectful working environment. We believe the resources we offer empower people on our sets to speak up, and shouldn’t be trivialized.”

Dear Netflix,

Your anti-harassment training is turning people into creeps.

Love, Everyone with a working brain.