Mark Zuckerberg Has A ‘Panic Chute’

Ok – so I know this isn’t as funny as it seems at this very moment, but for some reason, the thought of a ‘panic chute’ is making me QUITE LITERALLY lol.

PANIC CHUTES are a thing… and Mark Zuckerberg has one.

(Of course he does – he has everything.)

According to Fox News:

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has been accused of a lot of things, but a new report details just how far he is willing to take his privacy and safety: he reportedly has a “panic chute” in one of the tech giant’s conference rooms.

Is a panic chute like a slide? You get scared so you slide down into a panic room? Through the chute? That’s what I’m picturing. A FEAR SLIDE.

An in-depth investigation from Business Insider looked at the company’s security practices, Zuckerberg is said to have a number of different measures to protect himself, including a “Praetorian Guard” (implemented in case an employee tries to rush him when he’s at a company all-hands meeting), as well as the aforementioned “panic chute.”

“He also has access to a large glass-walled conference room in the middle of the space near his desk that features bullet-resistant windows and a panic button,” the news outlet wrote in its story. “There’s a persistent rumor among Facebook employees that he has a secret ‘panic chute’ his team can evacuate him down to get him out of the office in a hurry. The truth of this matter remains murky: One source said they had been briefed about the existence of a secret exit route through the floor of the conference room into the parking garage, but others said they had no knowledge of it.”

Clearly the people who say the panic chute doesn’t exist just aren’t COOL enough to know about it.

In addition to the aforementioned measures, Zuckerberg takes extreme precautions protecting himself and his family. He has armed officers on constant guard outside of his gated Bay Area homes, one of which may also contain a panic room, Business Insider reported. If Zuckerberg attends a bar, his security team sweeps it to make sure it’s safe; they also look into any new doctors to vet them, as well as instructors if Zuckerberg begins a new hobby.

He also has a personal driver, with the security team monitoring traffic and adjusting the route if needed, the report said.

In a 2018 SEC filing for the company’s second-quarter, Facebook said it had approved a “pre-tax allowance” of $10 million to Zuckerberg for his and his family’s personal security.

Clearly, Zuckerberg realizes A LOT of people don’t like him.

He’s had to step over quite a few to get to where he is today…