Man Supposedly Served His Friends Tacos With Meat From His Foot

Please don’t let this be real. Please don’t let this be real. Please don’t let this be real. 

Ben Shapiro recently tweeted this story, and I can’t get over it.

What a heel https://t.co/rojtsGvUp3

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

Because I’m a sucker for Mexican food and creeptastic stories, I clicked. Long story short, a dude got in a terrible motorcycle accident, and the doctors told him they couldn’t save his foot. It had to be amputated. So they did, but the man wanted to keep his foot. He actually wanted it “taxidermied or freeze-dried so he could use it as a house lamp or a doorstep holder.”

Ok…the doorstep holder is really funny.

“It’s not going to be cremated and chucked into a landfill. It’s a part of me, and I want it back,” he said.

Personally? I wouldn’t want my foot back. Keep it.

It got weirder.

And so…that’s exactly what happened. Doctors gave him his foot back, in which he froze. Since it was too expensive to freeze dry ($1,200 to be exact) he decided to cast it in plaster to use as a doorstop, then capture a 3D rendering so he can make key chains. But, then that’s when the idea of eating it came about. When asked about how he prepared the foot to be eaten, he said,

“Before we cast it, I quickly took a knife from my kitchen and cut a chunk off the top of my shin. The skin was already kind of off from the surgery, leaving a big chunk of muscle exposed. I just took the muscle. I put it in a plastic bag and put it in my freezer….After we cast the leg, I took a bunch of pictures, put it in a box of flowers, and cremated it.”

For some reason completely beyond me, he called up his friends and asked if they wanted to eat his foot, and they were totally down.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Is this even legal”? Well, the United States doesn’t really have a federal lawbanning cannibalism. The only state that can actually land you in prison for eating human flesh is Idaho. Laws against buying and selling human meat, murder, and corpse desecration make cannibalism difficult, but technically it’s legal in all other 49 states.

Ew. This takes “Your cooking tastes like feet” to a whole new level.

The process of cooking the meat was extensive since the chef had to marinate it overnight. He then sautéed it with onions, salt and pepper, peppers, and lime juice. He then served it on a corn tortilla with a tomatillo sauce. He called his masterpiece “Human Shin Fajitas”, and in case you’re curious about it, you can find the recipe here. You Hannibal Lecter’s!

As far as taste? Shiny said the particular cut was “super beefy” and have a very pronounced beefy flavor to it. The muscle was tough and chewy, and despite the fact he was eating himself, he said it not too shabby.

I really want this story to be false. Maybe it is, but I don’t know. People are weird.

There are pictures, which I am NOT going to post here, because no one deserves that. If you really want to see them, you can find them here.

Cue the foot puns! Shapiro went to town!

He really should have apologized for putting his foot in their mouth

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

He should have just served toestadas

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

But at least they know he cooks with sole

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

The whole thing just seems rather callus

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

At least the salsa had enough bunion

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

I’d imagine that the dish had enough corn

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

I have to admit I find the whole thing humerus

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

But I get that some people are so grossed gout they don’t even want to taco bout it

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

I don’t mean to be arch about all of this

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

But Mexican food is clearly my Achilles heel

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

Still, there comes a time when you just have to walk away and admit de feet

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 2, 2018

Fa-heel-tas?

— The Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) November 2, 2018

That’s toetally disgusting

— Kassy Dillon (@KassyDillon) November 2, 2018

We’re done here.

h/t Rare